Learning How to Stay

This blog post is courtesy of Michelle Ward, daughter of Mary K. McKinney Ward. Orginally shared on the Army Well-Being Facebook page, this essay describes not only the resiliency of military children but the habits created by Army life that are sometimes hard to break.

As a child with a military parent, I have gotten used to moving every few years. In fact, this way of life is all I have known because I have not lived anywhere longer than two years since I was five years old. I have grown to expect that there will be occasions when my father will be deployed for long periods of time, as he is now. I have also come to expect that there will be constant mobility. These things I am perfectly able to cope with precisely because they are expected. However, the most difficult thing I have had to face as a result of my father being in the military was completely unanticipated, and it happened just a few weeks ago.

I was sitting in my apartment at the University of Virginia, and I got a call from my mom. She wanted to talk about moving this summer and all the things that would need to be done. I have been through this so many times that I automatically slipped into a “moving time” state of mind. Usually, this involves things like making lists, deciding what to ship and what to take with me, and starting to pull myself away from my friends so that it will be easier to leave in a few months. So naturally, when my mom and I started discussing the moving process, I did the same thing I have always done. Completely unaware of what I was doing, I started to pull myself away from my college friends.

However, within a week or so some of my friends made the comment that they had not seen me in awhile. This caught my attention, and I immediately realized what I had been doing. When I explained my situation, a friend equated it to muscle memory, which was quite fitting. I never learned how to stay and form long-term friendships. I only learned how to keep myself detached and ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Realizing that I will be staying at UVA for my third year has been much more difficult than I ever expected, and through this I am learning how to commit to lasting friendships. I am learning how to accept some stability, and most importantly, I am learning how to stay.

An Open Letter to Teachers of Military Kids

Today's guest blog post comes from This Fabulous Army Life and reminds us that back-to-school can mean different things to different students ... and our military kids may have more on their minds than just first day of school jitters.

My military kids heading back to school

Dear Professional Educators,

For most kids, Back to School means school supplies, new shoes, and a reluctant farewell to the lazy days of summer. For military kids, it might be a bit more complicated. If you have military kids in your classroom, this letter is just for you!

On the first day of school, many of our military kids will be attending yet another new school. They will have to learn new rules and procedures, introduce themselves to new friends, and try to find their place in a world that is brand-new to them.

Remember that they may have just moved into the area, leaving behind close friends and familiar surroundings. It could be that they are still living out of boxes since their family’s household goods were delivered the day before. Or they might be the ones who stayed in their home while their closest friends moved on to a new installation in another state. Thank you for providing them a comfortable, safe place at school to learn and grow.

If these military kids have a parent deployed, they are in a special group all to themselves. This group of children may need additional support, extra attention, and a touch of compassion for their unique situation. When a young mind is worried about the safety of their parent, it changes their perspective on life and could affect their school performance.

If one appears uninterested in geography, it may be that he is distracted, thinking about countries like Afghanistan and Iraq, where his hero has been and is currently deployed. If another becomes aggressive at recess, consider that she may be acting out on emotions she doesn’t even understand. They miss their Soldier-parents. Thank you for showing them kindness and helping them learn appropriate ways to handle their frustration.

Finally, thank you for taking on the challenge of educating today’s youth. We appreciate your dedication to teaching and encouraging our children. Along with their peers, they need teachers like you, who will care about them, set high standards, and work to ensure their success. We look forward to working with you to determine the best learning possible for our kids and making this a successful school year.

Very Sincerely,
Military Parents

Leave a comment or share your tips for preparing our military kids for a new school year!