Army Well-Being

Learning How to Stay

2011-05-19T20:52:00.004-05:00

This blog post is courtesy of Michelle Ward, daughter of Mary K. McKinney Ward. Orginally shared on the Army Well-Being Facebook page, this essay describes not only the resiliency of military children but the habits created by Army life that are sometimes hard to break.

As a child with a military parent, I have gotten used to moving every few years. In fact, this way of life is all I have known because I have not lived anywhere longer than two years since I was five years old. I have grown to expect that there will be occasions when my father will be deployed for long periods of time, as he is now. I have also come to expect that there will be constant mobility. These things I am perfectly able to cope with precisely because they are expected. However, the most difficult thing I have had to face as a result of my father being in the military was completely unanticipated, and it happened just a few weeks ago.

I was sitting in my apartment at the University of Virginia, and I got a call from my mom. She wanted to talk about moving this summer and all the things that would need to be done. I have been through this so many times that I automatically slipped into a “moving time” state of mind. Usually, this involves things like making lists, deciding what to ship and what to take with me, and starting to pull myself away from my friends so that it will be easier to leave in a few months. So naturally, when my mom and I started discussing the moving process, I did the same thing I have always done. Completely unaware of what I was doing, I started to pull myself away from my college friends.

However, within a week or so some of my friends made the comment that they had not seen me in awhile. This caught my attention, and I immediately realized what I had been doing. When I explained my situation, a friend equated it to muscle memory, which was quite fitting. I never learned how to stay and form long-term friendships. I only learned how to keep myself detached and ready to leave at a moment’s notice. Realizing that I will be staying at UVA for my third year has been much more difficult than I ever expected, and through this I am learning how to commit to lasting friendships. I am learning how to accept some stability, and most importantly, I am learning how to stay.

Reconnecting with Army Friends

2011-04-22T10:48:00.002-05:00

This blog post is courtesy of Traci at This Fabulous Army Life. It describes the bond created between Army Families and how, even after years apart, reunions are always welcome.

Army kids reunited after years apart.

On a recent Block Leave trip, my Family was able to connect with one of our favorite Army Families. They were our next-door neighbors at Fort Hood for a couple of years and we survived a deployment together, complete with sharing meals, kids, frustrations, joys, and time. In the Army, your neighbors are not just the people you nod to as you get into your car in the mornings, they become family.

In our time together, the wife of this Family watched my kids, listened to my woes, and took care of everything from shoe-tying to diaper-changing for my kids when I sprained my wrist while our husbands were gone. In return, her kids were always welcome in my home and spent more than one Friday night eating pizza and watching movies with us.

When my water pipes burst that deployment winter, she was there with me, fighting the raging fountain of water, clad in our pajamas. On the first day of school, we shared a traditional school bus cake (her tradition, but one that become ours, too). We created a six-week rotating walk to school schedule where one parent would walk all the kids to and from school for a week then trade with five other families on our block. When it was time for her to birth her fifth baby, I went next door to sleep in their house until her older kids woke up. In April of 2007, we sat on my sofa watching the horror of the Virginia Tech (her alma mater) shootings unfold on the news.

Our kids became psuedo-siblings and played together daily. We planned a front-yard flashlight Easter egg hunt one Spring, and bought matching Gerbera daisies for our front gardens, at our childrens' request. Many a meal was eaten at one another's homes, and a few restaurants saw the gaggle of us dine together as well.

A few weeks ago, when we posted on Facebook that we would be at Disney, I immediately got a text from her asking where we would be that week as they were headed to Disney for a vacation as well! We were driving from Fort Hood; they were driving from Fort Stewart. It was easy to coordinate a meeting spot and we met up the next day. The kids were excited to see each other and, over ice cream, began reminiscing among themselves. "Remember that time we went to the zoo in Waco and they had that cool slide with the otters surrounding it?" "Remember when we got in big trouble for cutting the canvas on our wooden playset and tried to blame it on the the little kids?" "Remember when we used to have pasta picnics at your house?" ... and on and on it went.

It was so much fun to see them! The baby who was born just weeks before they PCSed to Fort Carson was now four years old! Their oldest, who was in 4th then 5th grade here, is now a beautiful high schooler, enrolled in ROTC and talking about boyfriends. All the kids had changed so much, yet there was not a single awkward moment. It was just fun to see them again and catch up face-to-face. They are one of our favorite Army Families and will always have a special chapter in our Army lives.

Top Ten Things to Know About an Army Formal Ball

2011-02-24T09:08:00.002-06:00

Army formal events are a time of fun for all involved.

An Army formal ball is a fun opportunity to build comraderie, get to know your unit Family, and spend time together in a social setting. If you've never attended a ball before, there are some general characteristics that will likely be a part of what you will experience. Use these tips to prepare yourself for this important event in your unit.

Arriving: Arrive at the venue with enough time to park your car, find your way around the location, and chat with your fellow Soldiers. This is a great time to introduce your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse to the people you work with every day. This is also the best time to check your coat (if available) and use the restroom.
Receiving Line: Some units may choose to include a receiving line at the beginning of the event. You will likely be called by company to line up to meet the command team, guest speaker, and any VIPs present. The first person in the line will be in charge of announcing the names of the guests. He/She does not shake hands or carry conversations; his/her job is to introduce the arriving guest to the next person in line. A few things to remember: Ladies walk first through the line, your hands should be free to shake hands with those in line (no cigarettes or drinks here), and keep conversations limited to a brief greeting then move on. Because names do not travel well, please repeat your name to any person in the line to whom it has obviously not been passed.
Posting of the Colors: Once everybody has been introduced, it's time to check your name on the seating chart to find your table. There, you can visit with those around you as you wait for the entrance of the colors. As colors are being posted, those in uniform should remain at attention and face the colors at all times during the presentation. Civilians should stand quietly and follow the colors as well. The colorguard posts the colors once indicated by the commander. Once colors are posted, gentlemen will seat their ladies then stand behind their chair until everyone at the table is ready to sit.
Toasts: The Toasts are a very important part of the Ball. The Toasts give the unit an opportunity to raise a glass to pay tribute to a variety of meaningful people and groups. At this time, a designated speaker will propose specific Toasts in accordance with the sequence in your ball program. It is your responsibility during this time to respectfully listen and reply with the appropriate response, also found in your program. *The response is not the same as the toast so be sure to follow along in your program.
Table of Remembrance: You may notice a small table set for one that is off on its own - it is reserved to honour fallen comrades in arms. This symbolizes that they are with us, here in spirit. We are compelled to never forget that while we enjoy our daily pleasures, there are others who have endured the agonies of pain, deprivation, and death.
Order of Events: The order of events will vary from unit to unit, but may include a slide show or video, a skit or sketch, entertainment, or possibly a punch or 'grog' ceremony. During this time, simply follow along in your program and show respect by being attentive to those speaking or presenting.
Guest Speaker: At some point in the evening, the guest speaker will be introduced. It is important to show the guest speaker the proper courtesy of not speaking or leaving your seat during his or her remarks. All cell phones should be turned off, and trips to the restroom postponed until after the speech is complete.
Retiring of the Colors: After closing remarks, the colors will be retired. Remember how you respected the colors as they were posted? The same rules apply when the colors are retired. Too easy.
Dancing: Now comes the fun part ... time to dance! Hit the dance floor and cut up the rug like never before, but keep in mind that this is a formal ball, not the dance club you may be used to going to on the weekends.
Fun & Responsibility: Here comes the most important rule: Have fun! This is an excellent opportunity to see your teammates outside of work and continue to build strong relationships. Have fun, but also be responsible. Designate a driver or make arrangements to stay at a nearby hotel. If you have had too much to drink, be strong enough to realize this and call a taxi or work with your chain of command to get safely home. As with everything in the Army, have a plan, and if that plan doesn't work, use your back-up plan.

For More Information:

"Married to the Army" Blog Post: My Experience with Army Balls and Formals

Resources:

Sgt. Parker's Guide to The Old Guard Ball

Toast to Fallen Comrades

DA Pamphlet 600–60: A Guide to Protocol and Etiquette for Official Entertainment

Are Soldiers Fairly Compensated?

2011-01-25T17:28:00.001-06:00

Soldiers with the U.S. Army 3rd Infantry Division salute
during a re-enlistment cermony at Camp Liberty, Iraq, July 17, 2007.
Defense Dept. photo by U.S. Air Force Staff Sgt. D. Myles Cullen

I took the online Army Well-Being poll recently that asked, “Do you think our Soldiers are fairly compensated for their service?” and immediately answered with a resounding “No!” I got to thinking about that question, and added to one of my Twitter updates, “How could you possibly?” That has been the question on my mind since then. How do you ‘fairly compensate’ a person who willingly puts his/her life on the line out of duty and service to country? What would be enough?

Today’s Army is a challenging career choice. Soldiers sign up and reenlist knowing that long deployments are all-but-guaranteed for them. The dangers are real, the separations are long, and the job is tough. There’s no way around that. Yet our Army Soldiers are maintaining a force unequal in the world. They are consummate professionals, training others around the world to defend themselves and creating independence unknown in many countries. They are extraordinary warriors, training and fighting to defend our own country, and to keep danger from arriving at our own doorstep. They are moms, dads, husbands, wives … our very own Family members, who set aside their own preferences to secure the freedoms that we enjoy here in America. I could not possibly be more proud of each and every one of them.

I once had a family member ask me why Army Families received extra money during deployments, and I was surprised by the question. My husband was deployed at the time in a dangerous area, maintaining equipment valued in the millions, and was directly responsible for over a hundred other Soldiers in his unit. Why on earth would he not receive extra pay for that kind of job description? How do you equate those responsibilities to the civilian sector? If you’re a civilian with over one hundred people reporting to you and have millions of dollars worth of equipment to oversee, would you be ‘compensated’ for that? I am guessing any civilian job with that job description would be paid pretty well. I think what I realized from that conversation is that money could never be the only ‘compensation’ for our Soldiers.

I do understand and believe that the Army works hard at ‘compensating’ its Soldiers and their Families for their service. Regular pay raises, quality benefits, and continuously upgraded support services are only some of the ways that the Army is working for its Soldiers. More than ever before, Army leaders are looking at Families and Family Programs to make whatever improvements are necessary to enhance Army life. I am deeply appreciative of the changes and utilize these programs as often as possible. I love my life as an Army wife and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I simply am not sure what we could possibly do for these amazing Soldiers to fully compensate them for what they do.

Our Army Families have been dealt a lifestyle that a very select few choose to endure, and are largely handling the challenges with strength and resilience. Compensated enough? Never. But honored and appreciated, knowing we could never fully ‘compensate’ for their sacrifices? Always.

~ Traci Cook for Army Well-Being

Army Social Media Handbook is Here!

2011-01-23T21:41:00.001-06:00

Army Social Media Handbook 2011

View more documents from U.S. Army.

'Me' Time When Your Husband is Deployed

2011-01-19T10:43:00.000-06:00

We are excited to feature some great advice by those who live the Army life each day: Soldiers and their Families. We will be bringing you their stories, advice, tips, ideas and more, right here at the Army Well-Being blog.

Today's guest blogger is Julie of the blog, "Julie the Army Wife: Daily Ramblings from the Wife of a Soldier."

One question I tend to get asked by my non-military friends is, “Do you ever get any time to yourself during the deployment?” And my answer is “Yes!”

My husband has been home from Iraq 3 months as of tomorrow. It has been awesome! Sometimes the deployment seems like it was such a long time ago. One nice thing about having him home is being able to get out for some “me” time without the kids and without having to find childcare or a babysitter. However, when he is gone? Well it is a little harder to be able to get out by myself.

During this past deployment I had a close friend that I traded babysitting with. This is ideal because you can both help each other out in the same way. It can take some planning but it can be a great way to have some time alone.

At our old post, we had a scrapbooking night once a month. They would usually have a babysitter on site in a playroom, which was nice. You had to pay for that but it was still very nice to be able to scrapbook with the ladies.

Family has been wonderful to help out too. This past summer I stayed with my parents and was able to have some time alone at least once a week.
There is also the CDC. During both deployments, we got a bunch of free hours. It was very nice.

There are also places like PWOC and our Hospitality house that have childcare available.

Ideally, I would love to have a regular babysitter. Probably a college age girl who could come one night a week. When my husband is home we could have a date night and when he was not I could have some time to myself.

Sometimes just getting out and going to the library/coffee shop, treating myself to ice cream or going on a photo walk for a few hours can totally refresh me!

Another thing I try to do during a deployment is being firm about bedtime. I had to have a few hours to myself each night. I love my children with all my heart but it was nice to tuck them into bed and go grab a bowl of ice cream or go put on a movie.

How do you find time to get away and relax? How do you find “me” time during deployment?

~ Courtesy http://juliethearmywife.blogspot.com/

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Deployment Resources.

Band of Brothers

2010-10-20T21:10:00.000-05:00

Today's guest blogger is Marti Kubena who writes "The Kubena Family" blog. A military spouse, Marti talks about that intangible bond that Soldiers forge when serving in combat together.

When we went to take family pictures, neither Bryan nor I planned on actually being in any of them. But they wanted to do several shots of the baby that required us to hold her.

This is probably my favorite picture of Georgia from the session. We ended up buying this picture, but our copy is zoomed in enough that you don't see Bryan's Texans jersey.

Before he took the pictures, the photographer asked Bryan to take off his watch and bracelet. The watch, sure, but he said NO to taking off the black bracelet.

It is just one of those rubber bracelets that you see for many different causes these days. But it was given to him by one of his buddies in Iraq. And the Soldiers gave them out to the other Soldiers that they felt honored to be serving with. To be at war with. And then it became a reminder of the guys from Bryan's unit that were killed in battle during that deployment. For Bryan, and his buddies, it's a reminder of Sgt Cody Legg.

And he does not take it off.

He has not taken it off for two and a half years.
I'm so used to it that I don't even notice it anymore. The kids know not to play with it. He rarely wears his wedding ring, but he always wears this little black bracelet. And I don't mind that at all.

As cute as Georgie is, I love this picture for more than just her.

I love that Bryan said "NO" to pushing aside the memories of his buddies, even for a few moments.

For more information on deployment, visit Army Well-Being: Deployment Cycle Support.

Ten Years Later ... An Army Mom's Reflections

2010-10-08T16:49:00.003-05:00

Today's guest blogger is Karen Estrada, MS, with the"Military Health Matters!" blog.

Not only does Karen focus on military health, working with Milhealth's Directory of Military Health Information, Resources, and Research, but she's also a military mom. She has one son in the Army and has experienced first-hand the life of supporting a loved one in the armed services.

Read here as she describes what she's learned in the past ten years since her son first entered the service.

“Waits at the window, wearing the face that she keeps in a jar by the door, who is it for? All the lonely people, where do they all come from, all the lonely people, where do they all belong?”

Today is the 10th anniversary of OEF (Operation Enduring Freedom). Ten years? Where did the time go? Ten years ago my son, freshly 18 was finally hearing his last name barked out during formation by his DI). Think back, those of you who are military moms, parents, spouses… could you have imagined ‘now’ ten years ago?

So what have you learned?

I learned how to color my own hair, that yelling at the TV can be therapeutic, that I can cry at any McDonalds in Fayetteville, NC (Ft. Bragg), I’ve learned that I can’t fix everything, I’ve learned sometimes all I can do is hold my daughter-in-law’s hand quietly while she weeps, I learned what a capable, strong woman she is.

I've learned how to pack a ‘mean’ care package, I’ve learned that my cell phone “is” part of my body, I learned how to pronounce the names of places I'd never heard of before, I’ve learned how to exist on less than 3 hours sleep at times, I’ve learned to pray a lot more… and I’ve learned God doesn’t ‘really’ make deals with us (even if we think so). I’ve learned how to make the kind of friends you feel you’ve known your entire life.

I’ve learned to become more outspoken, and I’ve learned when I need to keep my mouth closed. I’ve learned 101 witty responses to well-meaning but clueless questions, I’ve learned to accept hugs from total strangers, I’ve learned not to be upset over insignificant things, I’ve learned reverence. I learned how to be a compassionate leader.

I’ve learned about ‘deep in the gut’ sorrow, I’ve learned how to talk with someone who’s lost their child, about tragedy and death, I learned about ‘that deep sigh of relief', I’ve learned its okay to cry on my son’s shoulder before he leaves, that I don’t have to ‘suck it up’….

After four deployments, I’ve learned how to pace myself, the worry and anxiety. Okay, well, I’m still learning that one.

What have you learned? What are you still learning?

~ Karen Estrada, MS “Milhealth” Proud Army Mom!
“H-Minus”

SFC Juan Hernandez, Mortars. 2-505 PIR, 3rd BCT 82nd Airborne. Ft. Bragg, NC
Lyrics, Eleanor Rigby (Lennon/McCartney) 1966.

For more information just for Army parents, visit Army Well-Being: Army Parents.

Guest Bloggers ... Report for Duty!

2010-10-06T16:33:00.066-05:00

We are hosting guest bloggers at Army Well-Being and would love to include YOU. If you are a blogger (or just have great stories to tell), let us know! We accept entries from US Army Soldiers, spouses, Family members, support organizations, and troop supporters.

Most importantly ...

We focus on news, information, stories, and tips that are helpful for US Army Soldiers and their Families.

If you have a story to tell that fits that criteria, we want YOU! Read on for more details.

Guest bloggers must:

be the original author of the posts (no duplicates of other stories/posts)
provide information/resources relevant to US Army Soldiers/Families
agree to have a post duplicated on the Army Well-Being blog
agree to have their blog (or website or Twitter account) linked on the Army Well-Being blog
provide a photo to include with the blog post (preferably a personal photo)

Are you interested in sharing some of your Army stories? The best blog entries also fit some other basic criteria:

Between 500 - 1000 words
Free of grammatical and spelling errors
Written in first person (I experienced this ... I have a story to share ...)
Personal account of Army life
Educational and interesting to Soldiers and Families

Here's how it works:

We would post your entry on our blog then link back to your blog. We would also feature your post through our Facebook page and Twitter account.

For an examples of guest postings, see these great posts:

Why I Love This Army Life by Kristen Smith
The Best Investment You'll Ever Make by Jillian Lemons
Who Am I to Advise Anyone? I'm Just an Army Wife by Jennifer Morrison
"I Do." Vows to Keep in an Interfaith Marriage by Archelle Georgiou, MD.
Our "Normal" Between Deployments by Christina Piper
Feeling Lost? Take These Steps at Any New Army Post by Crystal Lewis Brown
Reflections on R and R: Expectations and Reality by Tim Blake
Deployment and the Stages of Grief by Sara, Welcome to the Blog of an Army Wife
Letters from War: A Tribute to Mothers of Soldiers by Traci Cook
'Me' Time When Your Soldier is Deployed by Julie the Army Wife

If you are interested, please send us the URL links you think would be most relevant along with one photo for each posting. You can also email us your post in a Word document with a photo attached.

Thanks for considering this opportunity ... we love to tell the Army story and appreciate YOU for your service and sacrifice.

Please email us at armywellbeing@gmail.com, "like" us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter!

And as always, visit us online at http://www.armywellbeing.org/.

Favorite Army Themed Movies

2010-09-21T13:25:00.000-05:00

Has a movie ever moved you to tears? Prompted you to take action? Told a story you were certain was meant for you? Movies have a way of touching our lives, sometimes in unexpected ways. There are many movies made about Army Soldiers and war ... some more accurate than others. All of them help tell the story that is being an Army Family. Do any of these movies resonate with you? Tell your story? Make you proud to be a Soldier or Army Family? Frustrate you with inaccuracies?

We asked our Facebook friends and Twitter followers about their favorite Army-themed movies. We've compiled a list of these favorites from our Army Families. Here is what we gathered from our audience:

We Were Soldiers
Platoon
Saving Private Ryan
Apocalypse Now
Home of the Brave
Black Hawk Down
The Patriot
The Big Red One
The Hurt Locker
GT Bilko
Band of Brothers (series)
In the Army Now
Patton
Stripes
The Longest Day

The first several responses we received told us that "We Were Soldiers" was a top favorite. "We Were Soldiers" is a 2002 American war film that dramatized the Battle of Ia Drang in November 1965, the first major engagement of United States military forces in the Vietnam War. Directed by Randall Wallace and starring Mel Gibson, it is based on the book We Were Soldiers Once… And Young by Lieutenant General (Ret.) Hal Moore and reporter Joseph L. Galloway, both of whom were at the battle. Here is a trailer for the movie:

What are your favorite movies? We'd love to hear from you!

Join in our conversation on Facebook and follow us on Twitter!

Are You Eligible for Stop-Loss Pay?

2010-09-17T21:27:00.001-05:00

Are you eligible for Stop-Loss pay?

President Obama encourages all servicemembers to apply for Stop-Loss pay if eligible. How do you know if you're eligible or not? Check it out here:

Retroactive Stop Loss Special Pay

Veterans Administration

U.S. Army Veterans Resources

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Troops are Encouraged to Apply for Stop-Loss Pay.

Why I Love this Army Life

2010-09-09T09:07:00.000-05:00

Guest blogger Kristen Smith is an Army wife who blogs at "That Army Wife Life." In this post, she shares a glimpse into the life of an Army Family and describes the joys of lifelong friendships forged in some of the most challenging of circumstances.

I have had a truly awful week for the last seven days. Soon, I'll sit down and type it all out but I don't have enough distance yet to do it justice.

Let's just go with I've been really stressed for the last 6 days or so.

I was just as stressed this morning as I attempted to get the house cleaned up, laundry done, start packing, and generally working down the checklist of things that needs to be done before a road trip.

Then, my Soldier called and told me that an old friend of ours was in town for the day and wanted to have lunch. I was planning to just swing through on my way to our baby's 12 month appointment to say, "Hi." But after getting there, I called the Doctor and told them we couldn't make it. Totally the right decision.

You see, the real reason that I love being a member of the Army Family is the people.

The friend we met for lunch was with my Solider at his first assignment and deployed with him on his first deployment. He is one of the people that my Soldier admires. We have some really funny alcohol-related stories about him. He is human and flawed.

But he is also a hero. In the truest, most honest sense of the word. He is an incredibly accomplished and decorated Soldier. In my husband's words, he is one "baaaaaaaad dude."

For four hours today, I watched my Soldier and this friend reminisce about mutual friends, shared battles, and experiences since they last saw each other. They laughed about getting old, recent injuries, and coworkers they didn't like. They speculated about retirement and various job prospects.

In the way that warriors do, they slipped into a shared language. For four hours, this battle-hardened hero played with my one-year-old, joked with me, and commiserated with my Soldier. While discussing a particularly hairy combat experience that occurred while they were deployed together, he casually helped my baby try to climb the restaurant booth.

This is why I love this life. This man is a warrior. A hero. A Soldier's Soldier. "One baaaaaaad dude." And today, he tickled my son while telling me what his wife has been up to since the last time I saw her.

At it's most basic, this is why we are so strong.

For more information about Army Families, visit Army Well Being: Personal Life.

The Best Investment You’ll Ever Make

2010-08-30T10:24:00.002-05:00

Today's guest blogger, Jillian Lemons, has learned some tough lessons through repeated deployments. But the best lesson she's learned has helped her be a better -- and happier! -- person. Read how this National Guard spouse decided to be proactive, take a postive view of life, and invest in herself! You can follow Jillian on Twitter: http://twitter.com/JRLemons.

As always, feel free to comment on this post and share your ideas, too!

Being a military spouse and a stay-at-home mom are two very challenging roles to play. I’m an Army National Guard spouse, so I don’t live on post or near a base like the typical military spouse does. However, that doesn’t negate the fact that when your spouse is deployed, all the responsibilities end up on your plate.

I’ve taken a different approach to being separated from my Soldier this time around. Instead of being negative, feeling sorry for myself and sadly looking at the calendar and how much further we have to go until he comes home, I decided that this time around is going to be better. I decided that I’m not going to let my negativity infect my whole world and make everything harder and worse for myself.

Not only have I taken this new way of thinking and applied it to my military life, I’ve applied it to my everyday life as well. My new mantra is: Invest in yourself.

When I say, “Invest in yourself,” I mean exactly that. Take the time to make sure you’re at your absolute best. It’s like a going on a long road trip. You wouldn’t just get in the car and get going, would you? No, you would make sure the car was prepared for the journey; oil change, tires, engine, etc. Same goes for you when it comes to deployments. In order for you to take on the responsibilities necessary for you and your Family to make it, it’s smart to fine tune yourself as well; physically and mentally. It’s like the old saying goes, “you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.” It’s also true for caring for your Family. How can you expect to take care of your Family and do the best job you can, if you’re not taking proper care of yourself?

Most mothers will admit that they put their spouse and children’s needs before their own. And while I agree with that to a point, I’m a firm believer in making yourself just as high on the priority list as they are. It takes a lot to care for a Family. It takes even more to care for a Family while you’re spouse is deployed. You’re running the whole show! Just like your husband is on the job 24/7, so are you. And why should you get moved to the bottom of the list, just because you’re solo? If anything, that’s the reason you should move to the top of the list! If you’re not at your 100% best, it will ultimately affect your ability to care for your Family, which will then make it harder on everyone else, too.

We knew ahead of time that we had a deployment coming up. This meant that I had many responsibilities that were going to be served up to me, ready or not. And I decided to be ready! I started by going through the usual “checklists” for military spouses when preparing for a deployment. But I also made a self checklist too.

I decided to find psychologist/therapist to see and talk to throughout the deployment. I figured, it couldn’t hurt and would most definitely help. It’s a great way to just talk about whatever is in the forefront of your mind at that point in time and the best part, the therapist will listen objectively! No friend/family input or opinions or unwanted advice. Therapy is definitely an indulgence for me. My therapist isn’t there to try and “fix me.” That’s not what it’s about. It’s just a good way to get the “stuff” floating around in my head, released. I look forward to those appointments and end up leaving happier than when I arrived. I lucked out and found a great person that I really meshed with. Therapy and mental health get a bad rap in general, but believe me, it’s definitely a great thing to check out and see if you benefit from it or not.

The other things I did to put myself first is to be at my healthiest. I started exercising 4-5 days a week. I designated a specific time to workout and was consistent with it. It was MY TIME. Yes, I have to take my 1 year old with me, in her stroller, but I still count it as “me time.” I could make excuses that I’m too tired, or I have a baby and two other kids and can’t go or a million other reasons as to why I can’t find time to workout. However, I’ve found that exercise is yet other key to being at your 100% best. I’ll be the first one to admit, its hard work, but having the dedication and commitment is crucial to becoming successful. I found a quote by Ralph Marston that goes, “Success often comes from doing ordinary things with extraordinary commitment.” I think this is an awesome quote and a great way to look at the things in your life.

The biggest and most challenging thing I’ve done to grow through this deployment instead of getting through this deployment is being positive. I know that may sound cheesy and but it’s a lot easier said than done. By getting rid of all the negative things that surround the word “deployment” and turning it into a great thing, I saw it as an opportunity for me to set goals for myself, find new hobbies, discover and learn things about myself, and to be proud of myself and the things I do. I take pride even in the smallest accomplishments. All of those small accomplishments will add up to one big one when the deployment is done.

Like I said before, it’s not easy to have a positive attitude and outlook all the time. Sometimes you just have to learn to laugh at the situation or let it go, no matter how bad you think it is. Life isn’t always smiles and fun. But being able to see the brighter side of things instead of the darker side is the best thing that you can do for yourself and your Family.

I’ve even been able to help turn my husband’s attitude around by giving him positive advice about whatever is going on in that particular moment in time. Everyone needs to vent at one point or another. Get it out and then move on. There’s always going to be something good that comes out of something not-so good. Not only is negativity a waste of time and energy, it’s contagious. It infects everyone around you. Same rings true for a positive attitude and a smile … whether its real or not.

There have been many times that I haven’t wanted to smile or be a “positive Polly.” It’s easier to join in on the negativity and stew in it, instead of rising above it and choosing a different outlook. Now, I don’t have to fake the smiles or “pep talks” so-to-speak. They’re real. It’s become my persona. Quite a few friends have taken notice of this change as well. It’s funny because in the past when I had the negative outlook, no one said a thing. But now that I’ve changed all of that, people are speaking up and complimenting me on how well I seem to be doing. And there’s no “seem to be” about it. I’m doing well. In fact, I’ll go as far as saying that I’m doing great! I’m a stay-at-home mom of three kids, my husband is deployed, and I can still smile and have a wonderful day.

Surprisingly enough, these past almost four months have flown by. I haven’t once looked at the calendar and thought to myself, “Ugh … time is going by so slow! When will this be over?” To this day, it still shocks me at how fast the days, weeks, and months are coming and going. I’m most definitely giving the majority of the credit for the way things are going to the fact that I decided to invest in myself, prepare myself ahead of time, and no matter what, always look at the brighter side of things. All of this has reflected from me to my Family and even all the way across the world to my husband.

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Deployment Cycle Support.

Who Am I to Advise Anyone? I'm Just an Army Wife.

2010-08-23T19:57:00.000-05:00

Today's guest blogger is Army wife Jennifer Morrison. Jennifer records her military life at her blog, "Also Known As ... The Wife." In this blog post, she reflects on the advice she wishes she had been given as a new spouse ... and shares some tips on how to best jump right in to the Army life!

What advice would I give to someone whose spouse is joining the military? This was a question I inadvertently posed to myself when I saw a friend’s Facebook status wishing her husband luck on his ASVAB test tomorrow. I saw many people wishing him luck, some of those who are military spouses themselves, but no one really gave my friend any type of advice or a brief heads up about what she could expect through the enlistment process, Basic Training and Advance Individual Training, and then life as a service member’s wife.

It seems that the spouse is always an after thought, if a thought at all, for most people. What could I say to her that could convey the huge lifestyle change that her young family was about to embark upon? What advice did I receive when I decided that my life would be intermingled with the military? The more I thought about it the more I realized that no one gave me advice on what to expect until after I was head-first down the rabbit hole.

I’ve developed my own mantra which I live and die by with all things military-related: “Nothing is ever definite in the military until after it’s done … and even then it’s negotiable.” This has proven itself true over and over again in the course of the six years Tim and I have been together. I’ve been told that he’s going to a school needed for promotion more times than I count only to have it fail to come to fruition. I’ve seen my husband go up to a promotion board, pass, and be told that it didn’t count because it wasn’t the correct board. Tim was activated for deployment three times since September 2001 and has only deployed twice. Amazingly, his deployable status seems to be more favorable since we’ve been together. I could go on and on with examples but my point is to prepare for anything and everything, the worst case and the best case and somewhere between as well.

I’m big believer that you’ll enjoy the military lifestyle more if you become an active member of the military community. There is no one else in this world that can truly empathize with what it’s like being married to a service member more than another military spouse. Sure, your friends can tell you how much they missed their husband when he was gone for two weeks for work training but it just isn’t the same because your friend’s husband isn’t training for combat operations and, last time I checked, San Diego wasn’t a war zone with a different language, culture, and a population who gave you the most evil of eyes every time they walked past you.

A military spouse can listen to your deepest concerns and worries and in the next breath make you forget all about them. When I found out Tim was heading for another deployment, I quickly became more involved with the unit and then with the Family Readiness Group. I wanted to be ‘in the know’ and the only way to do that was to get involved. I went to family meetings hosted by the unit and I did all the reading I possibly could. I also joined a military spouse message board and it became of a wealth of information and support when I needed it the most.

Knowing I wasn’t alone in dealing with all the crazy things the military can throw at you allowed me to throw away that “woe is me” attitude and realize it’s not just me and I could certainly have a worse situation. There’s also something to be said for the military rumor mill; you can sometimes get some good information from it and other times you can get an incredible belly laugh.

The best piece of advice that put it all together for me came from a friend who was then a Captain in the Air Force. He said to me, “You need to realize you’ll never be number one, hell, you may not even been number two at times. It’s always duty first and the Soldier decides to prioritize the rest.” I sat with my mouth open for a good thirty seconds because I couldn’t think of a reply to debate his point. He was absolutely right. No one can prepare you for not being your spouse’s first priority; it’s completely against the tenets of most marriage vows (“forsaking all others” ring a bell?).

The military will become your husband’s wife and you’ll be the mistress sometimes. It’s especially frustrating being a second priority when your spouse is still your first, but you know the old saying about life not being fair. Once you realize this, you’ll become a more empowered person; you’ll be handling situations you never dreamed you’d be handling without your spouse. I’ve learned to change my car battery, beat the hell out of my car starter to get the engine to turn over, and that I can drive from New Jersey to Florida in 12 hours.

If you’re shy, you’ll come out of your shell in the blink of an eye and wonder what took you so long and what really was holding you back. If you embrace and accept reality, you’ll actually enjoy the role you play in this crazy lifestyle.

So again, what would I advise a new military spouse? Be skeptical, be well prepared, get active, and get with reality. It also helps if you can cook or bake; there is no better way to fall into good favor with the Soldiers then by bringing up some chili or cookies. I would know; I’ve earned the nickname of “The Cookie Lady.”

For more information on Army life, visit Army Well-Being: Personal Life.

Family Matters: Army Community Services

2010-08-20T09:39:00.001-05:00

Today's guest blogger is Kristen Smith. Kristen is an Army spouse and blogger, writing about her experiences in the Army at "That Army Wife Life." This post is about all the amazing resources available at every Army installation. New to your post? Start with Army Community Services!

There are a multitude of services of available on every post for Soldiers and their spouses. The key is learning where to look and who to ask when looking for assistance. My experience has been that a great many of these programs are vastly underutilized. People don't know that they are there, the benefits to utilizing them, or don't think the programs can help them.

A good place to start no matter what you are looking for is Army Community Services. Known as ACS, Army Community Services provides information, assistance, and guidance to active duty Soldiers and their Families. In many cases, ACS can refer an individual or Family to the appropriate agency.

I wanted to highlight a few of the standard offerings of ACS. While it is an Army-wide program, the details of any program will vary a bit from post to post.

ACS OFFERINGS:

Army Emergency Relief (AER) - Emergency financial assistance in the form of low interest loans and (occasionally) grants. The application for AER assistance goes through the Soldier's chain of command and is generally approved to pay a very specific amount (bills/car repair). Soldier is often required to provide proof that the funds were used to pay that specific expense by bringing back a receipt or similar verification.

Financial Readiness - credit information and assistance, budget preparation, and more offered through financial readiness classes. Open to both service members and their Families. These classes are frequently offered by units, especially while gearing up for a deployment.

ACS Volunteers - Between jobs, want to get out of the house, or build a resume? ACS is staffed by volunteers in many areas. Some posts offer free childcare to ACS volunteers.

Information and Referral - Assistance regarding crisis counseling, foster care information, support information, referrals for food stamps, emergency food resources, emergency food baskets, and community education.

EFMP Assistance - Help with resources, information, referrals and assistance with registration in the Exceptional Family Member Program, or EFMP.

Relocation Readiness Program - Know that a PCS is imminent? Or just arrived at a new duty station? ACS has Welcome Packets and local information. Citizenship assistance and classes as well as ESL (English as a Second Language) are often also offered.

Loan Closet - short term loan of daily use items for Families in the course of a move to or from an installation. Usually available are dishes, plate and silverware, cots, cribs and other similar household items to bridge the gap between the move and the delivery of household goods.

Army Family Team Building (AFTB) - a series of classes with something for everyone. Army basics (like what all those acronyms mean!), an installation tour, basic overview of resources available at your post, and a chance to speak to representatives from many different on post organizations.

This list is not exhaustive, but should show you that your local ACS has something to offer for even the most experienced spouse. There are all these resources out there to many this often challenging life a little easier ... let's use them!

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Resources A - Z.

"I Do." Vows to Keep In An Interfaith Marriage

2010-08-19T22:42:00.000-05:00

Today's guest blogger is Archelle Georgiou, MD. Her blog, "Archelle on Health" is a fabulous resource for all things health-related. In this post, she shares with us some of her experiences in an interfaith marriage and offers some (unsolicted) advice for newlyweds, Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinksy. Read more about her marriage, advice, and let us know what you think! We always appreciate hearing from Army Well-Being readers.

The marriage of Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky generated speculation about how this couple's religious differences would sort themselves out:

How will they raise their children?
Will she convert?
Will he keep Kosher?
And, of course: Will they have a Christmas tree?

The newly married couple has been spotted in Namibia on a safari. But soon enough, the honeymoon will be over. Since I have a bit of experience regarding interfaith marriage, I thought I’d offer some unsolicited advice.

Dear Chelsea and Mark,

David and I have been married for 22 years. While the religious details of our wedding are a bit different than yours -- I converted and we had a Conservative Jewish wedding -- we have faced many of the joys struggles of an interfaith marriage. So, I thought it might be helpful to share what we have learned as the two of you begin your new life together.

-- Don't ever EXPECT that your spouse will change their values or their belief system.

While an individual’s religious beliefs can evolve (as mine did), that change can only come from within. Even then, it’s really hard. I sailed through my conversion process that consisted of “10 Easy Lessons to Becoming Jewish.” Then I spent the next 10 years figuring out (and struggling, at times) how to embrace a new faith while honoring and respecting my past.

Mark, I was thrilled to see that you signed a Ketubah, stomped on a crystal glass, and danced the hora on your wedding day. Chelsea, I hope that you, too, incorporated equally meaningful symbolic moments into your day. To be honest, I was a little worried that they weren’t as evident in all the pictures that we saw. Remember, each of you has entered your marriage with over thirty years of traditions-—family traditions, religious traditions, cultural traditions. They make you who you are. Getting married is an opportunity to share them…not abandon them.

-- Decide what religious beliefs and traditions will guide the upbringing of your children, and, figure it out well before they’re born.

We got this one right from the beginning. In our case, it was easy; the kids would be raised Jewish. But, in 1994, during a moment of inconsistency, I talked David into letting me decorate the house with garland during the “winter” holiday. I rushed off with Arielle to Michael’s Crafts, and while we were in the checkout lane, she said "Mommy, why are you buying that? We don't celebrate Christmas." My 5 year old's reminder made it easy to leave the store empty-handed. Do your kids a favor -- don't confuse them. Children look for unity in the messages that they get from both parents.

-- Intrafaith differences are just as important to address as interfaith differences.

David, the grandson of an Orthodox rabbi, grew up in a traditional Kosher home. Fasting on Yom Kippur really meant eating absolutely nothing! I, on the other hand, was raised in a home where fasting for Easter simply meant not eating meat on Good Friday. We entered our relationship with very different expectations of our levels of observance, and it took several holiday cycles to find some common ground. Here’s the best advice I have on this issue: compromise.

Its easy to think that I was the one who compromised most in the relationship. I thought so too, for twenty years, until June 2008 when Fay, David's mother, passed away unexpectedly. I saw my husband fully immerse himself in the Jewish Orthodox funeral traditions -- sitting shiva, remaining unshaven, wearing a torn shirt and tie for a week and committing to saying Kaddish for a year. I realized that at his core, David is highly observant because he finds comfort in the structure of organized religion. But, he had quietly and willingly given that up and, on the surface at least, he settled into the looser traditions of Reform Judaism so that we could live our life together.

-- As your children mature and recognize that you came from different backgrounds, be prepared for questions that challenge and explore your deepest held assumptions beliefs.

Our girls attended the funerals of 2 grandparents in one year. Fay's had a closed casket. My father's Greek Orthodox funeral had an open casket accompanied by wailing women in black veils. Why the difference? Which approach offers a greater sense of closure? What would the girls each prefer when they die? Can they be Jewish and still have an open casket? Arielle has made the decision, at the age of 20, to document a specific, customized interfaith approach to her own future funeral so that it can be exactly how she wants. These conversations aren't for the faint-hearted.

Chelsea and Mark, you are both highly intelligent people and clearly thrive on intellectual and spiritual stimulation. If you are open and accepting, your interfaith marriage can be an ongoing journey that is just as enlightening as it is challenging.

Mazel Tov,
"Συγχαρητήρια για τον γάμο σας"
Archelle (and David)

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Your Relationships.

Catch Those Creative Juices and Box 'Em Up for Your Soldier!

2010-08-16T18:34:00.004-05:00

Today's guest blog post comes from military spouse, Jillian Lemons. Jillian shares some great ideas for care packages while your Soldier is deployed. You can follow Jillian on Twitter: http://twitter.com/JRLemons.

As always, feel free to comment on this post and share your ideas, too!

I haven’t been a military spouse for long, but with all the care packages I’ve sent and ideas I have you’d think I’ve been doing this for a lot longer. I love being creative as creative as I can. I love doing things for my husband that I know will make him smile or totally make his day great!

Anything and everything that I think may make my husband smile, especially if I think it may be silly or stupid, it’s usually the things he loves the most. Sending a thoughtful package that I’ve put lots of time, effort, and love into makes me just as excited to send it as it is for my husband to receive it.

It seems that when I come up with a great idea, I get worried that I won’t be able to “top” it, in a sense. But somehow, someway, I end up thinking of another way to show my love and appreciation for my Soldier.

I’ve complied some of the things I’ve done for my husband and some ideas I have yet to do. I hope it gives you some inspiration and that you can put your own creative spin on things or even add to them and make them even better!

One of my husband’s favorite things I’ve ever sent to him was this box full of ordinary, everyday items that I turned into anything but. Each item that I included in the box had a bigger meaning behind it than you would normally think of when you saw each item. I also attached the name of the item and then the reason it was in the box (I typed up, printed out, cut apart, and glued each one on red, white and blue construction paper) with ribbon.

Here’s a list of the things I put into the box:

A yellow ribbon: so you always know you have 100% support.
A piece of rope: for when you’re reaching the end of yours.
Lifesavers: because that’s what you are to me.
Hug (Hershey’s): so you know that someone is always on your side.
A bag of marbles: for when you feel like you’ve lost yours!
Ibuprofen: because all jobs can be a headache sometimes.
A tootsie roll: to help you roll with the punches.
Confetti: to remind you to have fun.
A candle: to light up the darkness.
A penny: for luck!
A rubber band: to stretch yourself beyond the limits.
A cotton ball: to cushion the rough roads.
A jolly rancher: to remind you of how sweet things can be.
Magnets: to remind you of how strong and powerful our love is for each other.
A battery: to give you that extra charge to keep you going.
Tape: to fix things that won’t work.
String: to tie things together when everything falls apart.
A match: to light your fire when you’re feeling burned out.
Starbursts: to give you a burst of energy on a day you feel you have none.
Gum: to help your unit stick together.
Smarties: because that what you are..SMART!
A bag: to help you keep it all together.

I’m sure there are many other things that could be included with this idea, but those are the ones that I used. He loved it! It took a little time to put it all together, but it was worth it!

For more information, visit Army Well-Being "Deployment Cycle Support."

Long Live The Greeks ... But Will They Prosper?

2010-08-12T16:56:00.020-05:00

Today's guest blogger is Archelle Georgiou, MD. Her blog, "Archelle on Health" is a fabulous resource for all things health-related. In this post, she shares with us a recent trip to Greece with her family ... and the lessons she learned there.

Celebrity chef, Andrew Zimmern, said it well in a recent article, "Headlines be damned. Greece is still open for business."

Well, sort of. . .

My family and I recently returned from a month long trip to Greece. Indeed, it was glorious, and it would be fun to write about the exquisite meals, the inspiring history, and the experience of "moving in" to Lahania, the small village (population: 50) where my father was born. But, that's not what I'm writing about because, frankly, I expected that we would have a wonderful vacation. What I wasn't expecting is that I would get an insider's view of the Greek economic crisis.

It started the moment we arrived. The plan for our first full day in Athens was to visit the New Acropolis Museum that opened to rave reviews in 2009. It cost $200 million and sits near the base of the Acropolis with a direct view of the Parthenon. BUT....we were promptly informed that the museum was closed. In fact, all of the historical sites were closed due to a 1-day national strike.

Two and half million public and private sector workers in Greece were on strike in Athens and other major cities protesting the European Union-International Monetary Fund austerity measures. This particular strike was scheduled on the same day that the Parliament was voting on a bill to increase the retirement age to 65 and decrease early pensions for workers. FYI...the Greek government has policies that promise early retirement (age 50 for women and 55 for men) to 700,000 people. Warning: Don't get in between a Greek and their "syntaxi" -- their retirement check.

No problem...we decided to spend the day in Varkiza, one of the lovely beaches just outside of the city.

Interestingly, despite the palpable anger and frustration (with their own government, not the EU or IMF), we didn't see any picket lines or strikers. The beach, however, was packed with locals who were thrilled to have a day off. Little did we know that this was the 5th national strike since February with the sixth strike scheduled for July 25.

Over the course of the next four weeks, we had many conversations about the financial crisis, and there were two consistent themes regarding the root cause: overspending and fraud.

Overspending

There are many reports that suggest that the 2004 Olympic Games put the country into a downward spiral, and this issue came up frequently in our discussions. Costing $11 billion dollars, in addition to infrastructure costs, this was 50% over budget and clearly more than the country could afford. In our conversations, however, the prevailing perspective was that it was the government's fault.

Maybe so, but there is a long history of overspending, in the form of entitlements, that the country cannot afford to continue but, yet, the people don't want to give up. Did you know:

As a way to stimulate population growth, women who have three or more more children are given a lifetime stipend. One family that we were with has four sons. All are adults, and the mother continues to receives 200 euros per month...forever.
As a way to stimulate tourism, the government established incentives for entrepreneurs to build hotels and open restaurants. And, what a deal! The government gifted--yes, paid for...60% of the development costs for new projects. This helps explains why the islands are lined with large, luxurious hotels with a 57% average hotel occupancy rate.
All employees receive two bonuses a year: a Christmas bonus equal to one month of salary and an Easter bonus equal to two weeks of salary. So, employers are obligated to pay 13.5 months of wages for 12 months of work. Can anyone say pay for performance? Management discretion? Nah.

Fraud

The common enemy among those we spoke to is the 2004-2009 government led by Kostas Karamanlis. "They stole our money! Why should we suffer as a result of those criminals?"

Agree. Many articles describe Karamanlis' reign as corrupt and scandalous with fraudulent financial practices. But, fraud is not limited to the government. Greece has a well-known, long history of tax evasion that costs the country $20.5 billion per year.

While I was well aware of the tax evasion, I didn't realize how much fraud is woven into the country's culture. Defrauding "the system" is not considered unethical, it's how they win. They don't hide it. Rather they brag about it -- because it's the norm. We heard several examples that simply made us cringe:

In casual conversation, one gentleman was telling us about his fifteen day hospital stay; the doctor submitted a bill for thirty. One of long time friends, a US citizen, didn't have insurance in Greece but needed Lovenox, an expensive medication to prevent blood clots. She had a doctor write the prescription for her mother, a Greek citizen, who was insured by the national plan. An economist and health care broker estimated that 10% of health care costs are fraudulent.
Business going under? Set it on fire and start over. Arson drives about 20% of fire insurance claims.
It was recently discovered that on top of the 2.6 million people getting a retirement check, there are an additional 160,000 people are on the pension rolls. Here's the problem: they are dead and their families are still cashing the checks.

As a Greek, I deeply disappointed. As a US citizen, I am deeply concerned because it seems that the EU-IMF's rescue loan will only have a sustainable impact if the country's values are re-wired to include personal accountability and integrity. However, in my opinion, the prognosis is dim and, according to Alberto Alesina, a professor of political economy at Harvard, "...what matters is (the) family....there is less of a sense of duty towards the state." (WSJ, 2/10/1010). In other words, less money in the government's pocket means more money in the family's pocket. And, that's what matters most.

The Greeks' unflappable commitment to their families is both their greatest strength and their greatest weakness. Extended families frequently live within steps of each other and eat two meals together...every day. Young adults enjoy spending time with their parents and live at home until they are married. The elderly are included as an important member of the family, and placement of seniors in nursing homes is the exception rather than the rule. It is well known that family connectivity, meaningful conversation, and interacting with people who make us feel loved and appreciated is a key component of longevity. The life expectancy in Greece is 79.8 years versus 78.2 years in the US.

So, what's the bottom line? Take a trip to Greece. Eat a Mediterranean diet. Get up and dance on the tables. Drink ouzo. Take a nap. Watch very carefully how families interact.

Then, come home to the good 'ol USA and incorporate the good that you've learned into your life.

Create Health,
Archelle

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Health Information.

An Open Letter to Teachers of Military Kids

2010-08-09T15:18:00.000-05:00

Today's guest blog post comes from This Fabulous Army Life and reminds us that back-to-school can mean different things to different students ... and our military kids may have more on their minds than just first day of school jitters.

My military kids heading back to school

Dear Professional Educators,

For most kids, Back to School means school supplies, new shoes, and a reluctant farewell to the lazy days of summer. For military kids, it might be a bit more complicated. If you have military kids in your classroom, this letter is just for you!

On the first day of school, many of our military kids will be attending yet another new school. They will have to learn new rules and procedures, introduce themselves to new friends, and try to find their place in a world that is brand-new to them.

Remember that they may have just moved into the area, leaving behind close friends and familiar surroundings. It could be that they are still living out of boxes since their family’s household goods were delivered the day before. Or they might be the ones who stayed in their home while their closest friends moved on to a new installation in another state. Thank you for providing them a comfortable, safe place at school to learn and grow.

If these military kids have a parent deployed, they are in a special group all to themselves. This group of children may need additional support, extra attention, and a touch of compassion for their unique situation. When a young mind is worried about the safety of their parent, it changes their perspective on life and could affect their school performance.

If one appears uninterested in geography, it may be that he is distracted, thinking about countries like Afghanistan and Iraq, where his hero has been and is currently deployed. If another becomes aggressive at recess, consider that she may be acting out on emotions she doesn’t even understand. They miss their Soldier-parents. Thank you for showing them kindness and helping them learn appropriate ways to handle their frustration.

Finally, thank you for taking on the challenge of educating today’s youth. We appreciate your dedication to teaching and encouraging our children. Along with their peers, they need teachers like you, who will care about them, set high standards, and work to ensure their success. We look forward to working with you to determine the best learning possible for our kids and making this a successful school year.

Very Sincerely,
Military Parents

Leave a comment or share your tips for preparing our military kids for a new school year!

"Our Normal" Between Deployments

2010-07-21T13:40:00.002-05:00

Guest blogger Christina Piper describes how deployment affects daily life for military Families, even during the coveted "dwell time" when servicemembers are at home with their Families. It's a powerful post with which many Army Families can identify and empathize. Read more of Christina's posts at "Her War, Her Voice" blog.

I am thinking that we might be hitting our normal, at least normal for us. We still have crazy hours, and the Army is still a very active role in our lives but deployment shenanigans have almost disappeared.

It has almost been a year and a half since his last return from war. The dreams have stopped. I am not jumping at fireworks, and his jumps are not as noticeable. I am use to sleeping next to him again, and will rarely double check if he is really there. I am not shocked to hear his voice in the mornings, or as annoyed when my stuff is moved around in the bathroom. There is now space for him. There is now space for Us.

The kids are coming around. My girl lives for every moment spent in his arms. She watches for any opening to touch him, and love him. She is no longer crying for him at night, and looks forward to doing anything that he is a part of. Her laugh fills the air when he is around.

My son is still giving him a hard time, but there are moments that his walls come down. There are moments when he will cuddle up in his lap and chill. He can’t wait for wrestle time, playful arguments, and any sort of competition. He struggles with showing his love, but it is there.

I see my husband relaxing into this life, again, and there is a sense of peace in him, at times. I also see him react to the news that his guys are going again, and I know that he would go with them, given the choice. I don’t feel him flinch when I touch him, and his smile is reaching his eyes, at last.

I am beginning to let my guard down, and that scares me. I am enjoying normal in this moment, and I am waiting for the next set of orders. Deployment gnaws at the back of my mind like a rat trying to get into a seed bag, persistent and relentless. Guilt swims in my veins at every word from others facing the “D” word. I cry, and I know that that will be us again.

I fear the fourth long deployment. I fear it, and I know that it is coming. It is coming like the tide, and I don’t know when it will arrive. But I feel it lingering there waiting to break up our normal. Waiting to tear at us, and challenge us again. Waiting to put tears in my children’s eyes, and waiting to take him away. Waiting to take him away from us, yet again.

We will live in normal while we can, for as long as we can. I will breathe his smell in deep, for I know what it is like when that smell is absent for a year or more. I will be thankful for this time, and cherish it while I can. I will hold him in spades, wash his underwear, and deal with his foul habits, because when he is called again to war I will need to look back on normal.

More Resources for Deployment Cycle Support

Soldiers are Encouraged to Reach Out, Talk, and Listen

2010-07-16T15:40:00.009-05:00

This blog post appears in the DoD Live Blog.

Army Suicide Prevention

The Army’s commitment to providing all members of the Army Family with the support and care they deserve is unwavering. Army leaders are speaking out to let Soldiers, DA Civilians, and Family members know that their mental health is just as important as their physical health, and that when they need help staying mentally fit, there is always someone within their Army Family ready and willing to help.

Army leaders aren’t the only ones speaking out. Those who’ve experienced emotional crises, sought help to heal their wounds, and have emerged stronger Soldiers as a result, are coming forward to let others who are struggling know that they are not alone.

Shoulder to Shoulder: I Will Never Quit on Life features vignettes and testimonials of real Soldiers, DA Civilians, and Family members who received help for psychological distress or who assisted an individual in need.

Designed to be used as a supplemental resource for the Army-approved suicide prevention and awareness training model, ACE (Ask, Care, Escort), the video illustrates how we can work together to keep each other, and our Army, mentally fit.

Suicide is not just a problem within the Army. The stories and underlying messages apply to all of us. Soldiers, Army Civilians, Family members and the public are all encouraged to watch Shoulder to Shoulder, and consider how they can live by the examples of these Army Strong Family members.

Have you or someone you know experienced similar struggles? How did you cope?

For Immediate Concerns

The Army Suicide Prevention Office is not a crisis center and does not provide counseling services. If you are feeling distressed or hopeless, thinking about death or wanting to die, or, if you are concerned about someone who may be suicidal, please contact Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

For more information, visit www.preventsuicide.army.mil.

Back to Suicide Prevention

Remembering Our Heroes as we Celebrate Our Freedom

2010-07-03T11:15:00.004-05:00

The 4th of July is a favorite holiday of many in the United States. And why not? Celebrating the freedoms we enjoy daily is a great thing to do. From fireworks and family gatherings to cook-outs and picnics, Independence Day is a true celebration.

At Army Well-Being, we wanted to bring you some must-see stories about our heroes who are fighting for those very freedoms, even now. Take a moment to remember those who have sacrificed so much for the values we hold so dear.

Some great reading for you on this holiday:

Independence Day Greetings from Combat

On Independence Day, like many other holidays, Soldiers are given the opportunity to send a shout-out to their loved ones back home. This is a great service provided by Army broadcasters, but not too many people know where to look for these videos. The Digital Video & Imagery Distribution System holds on to thousands of these greetings, so visit DVIDS Greetings and see if you can find your Soldier this Independence Day.

Remember the Price Paid for Independence Day Celebrations

For most of us, the 4th of July will be filled with family gatherings, festivals, and fireworks. While we enjoy our freedoms here in the states, U.S. military members around the world are patrolling deserts, flying in darkness, navigating the high seas and risking their lives in far-off places. This commentary is an attempt to put that aspect of America's independence into perspective and offer an expression of gratitude for all that American warfighters have done and continue to do.

Thinking About Independence Day

This blog post, from the Jane Wayne blog, is written by an Army spouse and reminds us to think of all our servicemembers on this Independence Day. As we approach our Nation’s birthday, I am always reminded of the service and sacrifice of so many who have come before us. From the day that we adopted the Declaration of Independence in 1776 until today, brave men and women have served, sacrificed, fought, and died to preserve it. Freedom truly is not free.

Happy Independence Day from all of us at Army Well-Being!

Feeling Lost? Take These First Steps at a New Army Post

2010-06-29T17:03:00.000-05:00

Today's guest blog post comes from blogger Crystal Lewis Brown. Crystal is an Army spouse of five years and editor of the Fort Jackson Leader. She shares some excellent advice for new spouses ... and those who may be feeling a little "lost" due to a PCS move or other Army change. You can read more of Crystal's stories at her blog, "Emotional Tightrope."

The hit television show, “Lost,” is about a group of plane crash survivors who find themselves stranded on a mysterious tropical island. Each episode, the characters become more and more confused as they encounter polar bears, a monster made entirely of black smoke and unknown assailants.

For many of us, our first experience in the Army life may feel a bit like that. It’s easy to feel lost as we try to become acclimated to the new world we have entered.

But unlike those plane crash survivors, we don’t have people lurking around every corner, threatening us with harm. Instead, there are those who work countless hours to provide us with everything we need to become acclimated to the Army life. So for those who are new to the military life, I offer the following tips:

Take a visit to the Army Community Services center. When I arrived at my husband’s first duty station, he was instructed to take me first to ACS. Although I had no clue at the time what ACS was, it made a huge difference. I got the chance to see what types of services were offered, get a calendar of on-post events and I even left with a couple of job leads.

Take advantage of the free classes and events. Fort Jackson offers a wide array of classes every week. The best part is, they’re all free. Whether you want to learn how to “speak Army,” get a handle on your finances or learn how to deal with your active toddler, there is a class for you. ACS even holds events for newcomers that provide information on various on-post agencies and what they have to offer.

Contact the hospital. Even for those who never get sick, it is a good idea to be familiar with the on-post hospital. While Moncrief Army Community Hospital doesn’t have an emergency room, there are several other clinics, including an urgent care clinic, that offer Family members and Soldiers an opportunity to be seen.

It is also a good idea to stop by the TRICARE office to make sure that you and all of your family members are enrolled. A couple of weeks ago, I missed out on an appointment for my son because I never bothered to fill out the proper paperwork. Taking a few minutes in advance to make sure all of your paperwork is in order can mean avoiding a hassle later.

Get in touch with your unit’s Family Readiness Group. At an FRG meeting the other day, one of the women shared how she had an emergency soon after she and her husband reached their new duty station. With her husband already away on assignment, she was left to take care of things alone. The FRG offers support for spouses, whether in an emergency or not. Don’t wait until a deployment to seek guidance from the FRG, start now. If your unit doesn’t have an FRG, or if you’re unsure, speak to the company commander about possibly starting one.

Get out of your comfort zone. It’s easy to want to keep to yourself upon arriving in a new place. But it is healthy for you — and your family members — to experience all that the post has to offer. Check out the community calendar at http://jackson.mhsoftware.com/. Or take advantage of the hourly care options on post and take some “me” time to go shopping, work out or just take a nap while the children are under the care of trained professionals.

Is this an exhaustive list of hints to get you ready for a new life in the military? Of course not. But I can assure you that there are many men and women, much wiser than me, who have the best advice possible.

And many of them are right in your unit.

In Honor of Army Dads: Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-19T23:57:00.014-05:00

In our continuing series describing "My Fabulous Army Life," Traci Cook thanks Army Dads for their service and sacrifice for their Families.

Photo: Our Army dad showing his boys around the 1st Cavalry Division museum.

I was waiting on a flight at Dallas/Fort Worth airport several years ago and remember seeing a young Soldier get off the plane at my gate. He stepped into the waiting area, looked around anxiously, and then ran toward a young woman holding an infant. As they embraced and she lifted the baby to hand him to the Soldier, I realized that this young man was seeing his baby, his son, for the very first time. I know this scene is played out across our Army all the time, but it brought tears to my eyes to watch their reunion. This young Family stays with me as a reminder of what our Soldiers give up in the cause of freedom.

As Father’s Day approaches this year and we plan to celebrate the dad in our Family, I couldn't help but think about all the Army dads out there who do such an amazing job of balancing family and work.

Having watched my husband of 16+ years, the past 10+ of those as a dad, I have seen how difficult it can be to be a great Soldier and a great Dad. It takes constant practice, endless perseverance, and boundless patience. He is amazing at it and I am thankful each day for his love and leadership in our family, but I think he’d be the first to tell you that it’s no easy task.

Any Army Family can tell you that being in the Army is not like many other jobs. In fact, "job" doesn't quite cover it. "Career" or "lifestyle" come closer, but it's an all-consuming life choice to be an American Soldier. Work days are long and hard, field exercises take dads away from their homes for weeks at a time, and ... to quote one of my favorite Toby Keith country songs about the American Soldier, "... I can't call in sick on Mondays when the weekend's been too strong ... " Many of the everyday liberties taken by workers all across our country (like calling in sick or showing up late) are not an option for our Soldiers.

Army training and combat operations trump all other events. Believe it or not, this is not a concept that makes me angry or bitter. I get it. I can clearly see how ensuring that our combat teams are prepared for war and keeping them focused and ready during combat operations is key and fundamental. Got that. What are a little harder to swallow are the missed births, first words, high school graduation ceremonies, and other life events. I intellectually understand why this happens, but emotionally, my heart breaks for these dads who miss so much. (Quick note: I am aware of the sacrifices made by our Army moms as well … and dual military Families have all of these issues two-fold … but today I want to focus on the dads in the Family.)

Army dads have a supreme mission … to perform well as a Soldier and to support a Family. Being gone from the home for extended periods of time can make it hard to keep ‘the pulse’ of what is happening, but I have seen countless success stories … dads who remain close to their kids, stay involved in the Family, and keep their marriage top priority. To these dads, I give my thanks and gratitude.

For every Soldier-dad who has heard the words, “Daddy, when are you coming home?” I want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for your courage, strength, and sacrifice. Thank you for serving your country even when it is not convenient for your own family. Thank you for loving your children enough to show them the right way to do things, even when it’s not the easy way. Thank you for dealing with the tough times in order to make our lives safe and free here at home. When that little dagger stabs you in the heart at the sound of “I miss you so much,” please know that you are appreciated and loved.

For their endless patience and love, and in honor of their sacrifice and courage, Army Dads are my heroes!

Also, to Army dads … if you haven’t seen the video for the song “Price of Peace,” you simply must see it. It describes a daughter’s perspective on her dad going to war. Even more powerful is the fact that the song was written by a young girl whose Dad serves in the Reserves and is sung by this talented young girl along with her sister. Good stuff.

For more information for Army parents, visit Army Well-Being: Personal Life.
** This blog post reposted from "This Fabulous Army Life" blog.

Kids Enjoy a "Mock Deployment"

2010-06-17T21:14:00.006-05:00

Traci Cook writes about her Family's attendance at the "Mock Deployment" recently hosted on Fort Hood, Texas.

Fort Hood hosted a "Mock Deployment" for children last week, an event designed to educate our kids on a little of what our Soldiers encounter when they prepare to deploy. I was interested right away and signed up my two boys -- ages ten and seven -- for the event. The kids were encouraged to dress in their best Army or camoflauge summer clothes for the event. Our boys immediately took out their battalion t-shirts and camo shorts and were ready for the day. After a flurry of sunscreen and final preparation, we were on our way.

Upon arrival, the boys checked in at the registration desk for their deployment packet ... a backpack full of fun stuff: camo binoculars ("bi-nos" for our experienced kids), dog tags, water bottle, and lots of great booklets and information for them. They were given new identities for the day: PFC Cook, N. and PFC Cook, J. After being assigned to "Echo Platoon," we headed outside so the boys could fall into their formation. A military roll-call ensued followed by a few quick lessons on right-face, left-face, about-face, forward march, attention, and at ease.

As the new troops stood in formation behind their platoon guidon, the Army Community Service (ACS) coordinators welcomed the troops and the III Corps Command Sergeant Major gave a brief overview of the day then taught the kids how to shout out a proper "HOOAH." The formations then all marched into our first briefing of the day. The introduction brief was all about what it's really like during deployment, complete with a slide show. From there, the kids moved through several fun stations.

A first step in the process was getting throug the Medical station. The kids all received 'shots' ("Thank goodness THOSE were fake," says one of the boys.) from medical personnel then moved through dental (receiving new toothbrushes and toothpaste) then taking an eye exam where their vision was deemed fit to deploy. The next few stations were definitely among the most fun of the day. First, all participants were face painted in camo then allowed to try on a variety of real Army gear with Soldiers standing by to assist. The kids could try on: kevlars, bullet-proof vests, protective masks, gloves, boots, and more.

Just like in a real preparation for deployment, the kids participated in several briefings throughout the day. They heard the In-Country brief where they learned about the cultures of Iraq and Afghanistan, some "dos" and "don'ts" of dealing with the people of those countries, and saw lots of photos of what the area would look like when they got there. The participants also talked about all the things they needed to do before they left the country, including age-appropriate descriptions of Powers of Attorney, financial requirements, and the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). They even participated in the Family Readiness Group (FRG) brief where they talked about things like "What is an FRG anyway?" Next, the troops moved outside for a mini-road march complete with cadences then a training obstacle course. The course contained tires to step through, a water grenade qualification range, low crawls, and a zig-zag speed course. My boys had a blast doing this!

Water Grenade Qualification Range

Low Crawl

The Final Run

After the obstacle course, the military police from Fort Hood demonstrated their amazing working canines. We watched some of their training techniques and enjoyed the dogs showing off their skills. Once that was complete, each participant was given a Meal Ready to Eat (MRE, certificate of completion, and said farewell in a final formation. After the event was over, we went back to the static displays of various Army vehicles and equipment. Our unit had some Soldiers there showing participants through a Howitzer. It was a huge hit with the kids and my own boys spent a good amount of time crawling in and out and asking a million questions. All of the participating Soldiers were fabulouse ... informative, friendly, and eager to show off their prize equipment. It was a great time.

Here, the boys spend lots of time quizzing Soldiers about the Howitzer.

Later that evening, my Soldier demonstrated the finer points of preparing MREs to the boys. They opened up their packages and were eager to eat "just like Daddy does in the field." We brought home Chicken & Dumplings and Spaghetti with Meat Sauce. The boys were very good sports, trying all of the different items. My favorite quotes of the night? "Daddy, is this a chicken or a dumpling?" and, in response to me telling them that Daddy had eaten lots of MREs throughout his years in the Army, "Poor Daddy."

Thanks for reading about our fun time learning more about how to prepare for deployment! I'd love to know what you think ... or if your installation has a similar event? Please feel free to comment here!

For more information about preparing for deployment, visit Army Well-Being: Deployment Cycle Support.

A Favorite Photo: Memorial Day

2010-06-03T15:10:00.000-05:00

There were many events honoring our fallen this Memorial Day. We appreciate all those who took the time to say thank you to those who have paved the way for our freedoms today. One group in particular got our attention this year and we wanted to share this photo from the "Rolling Thunder Memorial Ride" last weekend. Enjoy.

Thousands of motorcyclists gather in the north parking lot of the Pentagon in Washington, D.C., May 30, 2010, for the annual Rolling Thunder Memorial Day weekend ride.

DoD photo by Fred W. Baker III

For more great photos, see the DoD Photo Essay "Rolling Thunder Memorial Day Ride."

Honoring Our Heroes on Memorial Day

2010-05-31T21:34:00.001-05:00

In a new series of blogs titled "My Army Life," Army spouse Traci Cook shares with us some of the day-to-day happenings of living the Army life.

In many ways, my life is much like any other wife and mother. I take care of my two boys, get them off to school each morning, and volunteer at their school. I love my husband, enjoy the time we can spend together, and appreciate his hard work to give his family a good life.

There are some differences, though, for a military spouse. When we say 'goodbye,' it's not for a week-long business trip, it could be for a month-long training rotation in California or Louisiana ... or for a year-long combat deployment. When my husband is away "on business," he is living a dangerous life.

This was all brought home again for me this weekend as we remembered our fallen on Memorial Day. Hubby and I had discussed ways to make sure our sons (ages ten and six) were cognizant of the heroes who have gone before us to pave the way for the freedom we now enjoy ... but weren't too disturbed by the somber reality of a career in the Army. We decided that a tour of the 1st Cavalry museum on Fort Hood and a visit to the memorial there would be just what we needed.

We visited the museum first, reading lots of great stories in the proud history of the 1st Cavalry Division. The boys enjoyed seeing the uniforms of the past and reading the stories of Soldiers in years past. Their favorite quote was a replica of a memo sent by General Normal Schwarzkopf during Desert Storm that simply read, "Send in the First Team. Destroy the Republican Guard. Let's go home."

They enjoyed seeing the photos and asked their dad lots of questions about living in Iraq, the Iraqi people, and what our Army is accomplishing there. The displays and photos really helped this come to life for them. Another favorite display was a photo montage of Soldiers living in Iraq. Our youngest son announced that his favorite photo was one of a group of Soldiers playing cards at night. The unique part of the photo? They were using glowing green 'chem lights' to see the cards! He thought that was very resourceful of the Soldiers to do.

We also talked with the boys about honoring the memory of those who fought and died in service to our country and walked through the "Medal of Honor" hall in the museum. Reading the heroic acts by so many was an amazing thing. It wasn't long before our oldest noticed that most of the plaques read "Posthumous Award" and realized that most of these Soldiers were killed in a combat situation. They left this room commenting on how brave our Soldiers are.

After the museum, we visited the 1st Cavalry Division memorial. The memorial is a beautiful display near the division headquarters that honors the fallen Soldiers from Operation Iraqi Freedom. (A complete description can be found at the 1st Cavalry Division Memorial Page.)

We explained to the boys that the names on the memorial were listed in order by date. As we reviewed the names, we asked them to select five names each and write them down on post-it note papers we had given them. We discussed the names and decided that these would be the main Families that we would keep in our thoughts and prayers. The boys placed these post-it notes in their rooms so they could remember these Families each night before bed.

As we continued to walk around the memorial walls, we noticed a young couple reading through names on a recent addition to the the most current wall. The man was obviously a Soldier, the woman a girlfriend or young wife. As they read, they would touch each engraved name and seemed to be sharing memories of that person with each other. They stopped at one name and spent some quiet time there, and I couldn't help but photograph the moment. Their grief was apparent and I took a moment to grieve with them for this lost friend, a US Army Soldier who did not make it home.

Our sons were appropriately serious about their time here and commented on the names they read and the items they saw at the foot of each wall.. We noted these items, left behind by loved ones who had visited the site earlier in the day. Flowers, unit crests and insignia, and even chalk-drawn notes on the sidewalk were apparent at each wall. One Soldier even left a bottle of beer at the foot of the wall containing the name of his battle buddy, a sight that made the entire visit that much more real to all of us. This Soldier had been someone's good friend, a buddy, somebody to hang out with and have a drink with ... not just a name etched on a wall.

As we rounded the last wall, we came across a smaller wall that had part of the map and missions of the most recent deployment. My husband was able to spend a few minutes with our boys, explaining where he had lived, traveled, and worked for a year. The boys had some questions for their dad and were genuinely interested in where he had lived for that deployment. At the end of the day, this had been a great trip for us, to remind us of all those who have fought so bravely and given so much, to understand more fully what it is that our Soldier does each day, and to ensure that our heroes ... past and present ... will never be forgotten.

Thoughts on Memorial Day

2010-05-24T15:41:00.005-05:00

Our guest blog post this week comes from an Army wife who authors the blog, "This Fabulous Army Life."

I’d like to think that being an Army spouse has enhanced my views on holidays like Memorial Day. It’s one thing to honor an unknown group of heroes, and quite another to remember someone a little closer to home. Seeing the wife of a fallen Soldier in a local restaurant, watching kids whose Dad will never come home playing at the park, passing a unit headquarters with photos of their fallen comrades … common sights around the community where I live … it definitely brings this holiday home, and makes me more cognizant of those I did know as well as the numbers of unknown heroes that I didn’t.

I remember another patriotic holiday, the first I had ever spent off of United States soil. My husband and I were in South Korea and had travelled to Osan to see an American 4th of July rodeo and fireworks. I had been looking forward to it and hadn’t really thought much about the fact that we were in a foreign country that day; but when our national anthem began to play, all of the sudden, I found myself teary-eyed. I was seeing the wonders of our country in a completely different light. I was happy to be with my Soldier in Korea and proud he was serving there … but suddenly I missed my homeland more than I could have imagined. The celebration of our independence as a nation had taken on a new significance for me.

This weekend, I am glad to honor another holiday with its own historical significance. Paying tribute to those who gave all they had to preserve our rights, freedoms, and way of life is an important thing to do. I hope each of you find your own way to honor our heroes. I know families who attend and participate in the parades; and others who take their children to place flags by each headstone at the local Veteran’s Cemetery. What else can we do, I wonder, to show our gratitude?

I am so proud of our servicemen and women and love seeing veterans in our local parades and events. It’s unfortunate that many of them returned from war without the kind of respect they had earned. I hope they feel the honor and respect now that they may have missed when they served.

As we watched our local Memorial Day parade last Memorial Day, it felt good to say, “Thank you for your service!” to those veterans. My oldest son was a part of the parade (as a Cub Scout) and was excited about that. My youngest stayed with me, observing the procession. He was a little surprised when he saw the first veteran’s float. “Those guys are Soldiers?” he asked, “Like my daddy?” Knowing that he holds his daddy in “ultimate hero” regard, I was happy to tell him, “Yes, honey, those guys are Soldiers, just like your daddy.”

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Veterans and Retirees.

Letters From War: Tribute to Mothers of Soldiers

2010-05-08T11:48:00.003-05:00

Our guest blog post today comes from "This Fabulous Army Life" and is a standing tribute to those moms who raise our nation's Soldiers to adulthood, love them through their trials, and worry about them while they are far from home. We appreciate the service and sacrifice of our Soldiers' mothers.

I cannot fully appreciate the sacrifices made by the parents of our US Army Soldiers. Mothers, especially, who send their children off to war and pray for their safe return ... have my undying gratitude, love, and prayers. With two young sons of my own, I can get an inkling of what it might be like, but really, I cannot know.

I have seen my husband's mother support him throughout his lifetime, including four years at West Point, and through sixteen years in the Army, including thirty or so months of combat deployment. She is a stalwart supporter and a sensational prayer warrior.

We are fortunate to live close to Family while we are stationed at Fort Hood. Both sides of our families are in Texas, with Hubby's parents living only an hour away. This affords us (and them!) with some priceless opportunities to spend time together more often than when we live several states (or continents) away. His Family is always supportive of us and our Army life and for that, we are extremely grateful. In this photo, Hubby presents yellow roses to his mom at his Change of Command reception.

I recently came across a song and video titled, "Letters from War" by Mark Schultz. Always a glutton for punishment, I clicked 'play' and sat back to listen and watch. The song is a moving tribute to the mothers of our Soldiers. I could see my mother-in-law in the care and devotion the on-screen mother showed for her son, far away at war. Writing, especially, is a gift of hers and she is a constant source of support for my husband, deployed or not, and for our Family.

I wanted to write this post to say a public "Thank You" to my Soldier's mom ... and to share this song with you. Please share with the mothers of your Soldiers and tell them thank you for their service and sacrifice.

Letters from War is a beautiful song by Mark Schultz and a loving tribute to mothers of Soldiers. Kleenex are required for this vieiwing ... don't say I didn't warn you!

Letters From War from Mark Schultz on Vimeo.

She walked to the mailbox
On that bright summer's day.
Found a letter from her son
In a war far away.

He spoke of the weather
And good friends that he'd made.
Said I'd been thinking 'bout dad
And the life that he had.
That's why I'm here today.
And then at the end, said
You are what I'm fighting for.

It was the first of his letters from war.

She started writing ...
You're good and you're brave.
What a father that you'll be someday!
Make it home.
Make it safe.

She wrote every night as she prayed.

Late in December
A day she'll not forget
Oh, her tears stained the paper
With every word that she read.

It said "I was up on a hill,
I was out there alone,
When the shots all rang out
And bombs were exploding,
And that's when I saw him
He came back for me.

And though he was captured,
A man set me free.
And that man was your son.
He asked me to write to you.
I told him I would, oh I swore."

It was the last of the letters from war.

And she prayed he was living
Kept on believing
And wrote every night just to say ...

You are good
And you're brave
What a father that you'll be someday!
Make it home.
Make it safe.

Still she kept writing each day.

Then two years later ...

Autumn leaves all around
A car pulled in the driveway
And she fell to the ground
And out stepped a captain
Where her boy used to stand.

He said "Mom, I'm following orders
From all of your letters
And I've come home again."

He ran in to hold her
And dropped all his bags on the floor
Holding all of her letters from war.

Make it home
Make it home
Make it home

Thank you to all mothers who have raised servicemembers. We appreciate you!

For information especially for our parents of Soldiers,

visit Army Well-Being: Army for Parents.

The Life of a Military Child

2010-04-22T09:41:00.001-05:00

As we near the end of the Month of the Military Child, we want to share this blog post from guest blogger, Julie of the blog, "Julie the Army Wife: Daily Ramblings from the Wife of a Soldier."

We appreciate the sacrifices of our youngest heroes and with this blog post, say "Thank You" not only during "Month of the Military Child," but always.

The military child lives a very special life. They start serving their country from day one. They have to say goodbye to daddy (or mommy) more times than a child should. They have to say goodbye to friends all the time.

They have to be the new kid every 2-5 years. They usually don’t get to grow up around grandparents or cousins. Sometimes it can be years between seeing family. Daddy might have missed their birth, first steps, first day of Kindergarten or high school graduation. And anything in between. The children of the military are the little heroes.

They get to see the world and meet all types of different people. They get to experience so many different things. I can sometime ask my oldest son if he remembers that time we walked on an airfield in Newfoundland at 3 in the morning. I can ask my 3 year old if he can possibly remember anything about living in Germany.

I often wonder what kind of mom I would be if my husband never had to go away? I wonder what our Family would be like? This lifestyle isn’t easy, but it is ours. The good with the bad. All I can do is help my children through what they may have to face. And pray that daddy won’t have to deploy as often in the future.

Send Julie a comment!

~ Courtesy of "Julie the Army Wife: Daily Ramblings from the Wife of a Soldier."

For more information, news, and resources for Army kids, visit Army Well-Being: Army Kids.

Do you have an Army story to share? Please email us at: armywellbeing@gmail.com with your blog name and we will send you information on becoming a guest blogger!

Stop the Drama and Spit!

2010-04-19T07:59:00.001-05:00

Today's guest blogger is Archelle Georgiou, MD. Her blog, "Archelle on Health" is a fabulous resource for all things health-related. In this post, she shares with us the importance of genetic testing.

I've been called many names...and, most of the time, I ignore it and let it roll off my back. But last week, I got the ultimate compliment. I was ordained as one of the "Disruptive Women in Healthcare," a blog site that invites anyone, particularly women, to speak up and challenge the health care status quo. Since I got formal permission to be disruptive (as if I really needed to have someone tell me it's okay), I am going to allow myself to be a bit irreverent in this blog entry. I apologize in advance.

The focus of this week's blog is on the health benefits of personal genetic testing -- an emerging area of medicine that intrigues many people when they read about it, but scares them too much to get tested themselves. Yes, the blog last week had a similar theme but was centered on the insight you can gain on your ancestral history. In full disclosure, that blog was just a set up; I used a heart-warming, personal story as a first step to getting your buy-in.

The Human Genome Project was completed in 2003, and since then, companies have been springing up that offer personal genetic testing to consumers. The space is dominated by 3 companies: Pathway Genomics, Navigenics, and 23andMe. For anywhere between $350 and $999, testing kits can be purchased without a doctor's order. Unfortunately, even as the price has come down, very few people choose to get their genetic testing done.

Why?

"I don't want find out something I don't want to know." "What if I find out I am higher risk for Lou Gherigs disease?" My personal concern was learning that I might be at higher risk for developing Alzheimers. I was so scared that I stared at the test kit for 3 weeks before I spit into the vial and sent it in. I told my family that the results would come back in 4-6 weeks and the information "had the potential to change our life forever." The drama (which I am pretty good at) was almost worthy of a gold statuette.

But, after going through the entire process, I realize that the worry, the procrastination, and the hand-wringing were wasted energy. The report results were relevant, practical and actionable -- TODAY. And, the benefits of knowing my genetic makeup far outweigh the false sense of security that we allow ourselves to experience when we are simply blind to the facts.

The majority of my fears were probably fueled by the unknown: manufacturers' descriptions of report results are vague; I had never met or spoken to someone who had the testing done. So, the goal in sharing my test results with readers in this blog is to dispel some of the mysteriousness of genetic testing and to demonstrate that this important new technology is an easy, cost-effective way to improve health. And, in my opinion, it is the only tool/technology I have seen that might be able to successfully influence behavior.

So, I have one important key message I hope to get across: Knowledge is Power.

The 77 page report I received online was divided into 3 health-related sections: Drug Response, Carrier Status, and Complex Health Conditions.

Drug Response: I had an atypical response to 2 of 9 drugs/therapeutic classes.

1) I metabolize caffeine at a slow rate due to lower levels of the CYP1A2 gene that makes the liver enzyme responsible for caffeine metabolism.

Practical application: Very interesting. This result likely explains why I had a drug reaction to a Midol that I took for the first, and last, time about 6 months ago. Midol, as well as many other OTC drugs (for example, Excedrin and Anacin) contain caffeine. So, no more caffeine-containing drugs for me, and no purchases of OTC meds without checking the ingredient labels first.

2) I have a reduced response to Tamoxifen, a drug used in prevention and treatment of breast cancer.

Practical application: Fortunately, I don't have breast cancer and am not high risk for this diagnosis. But, if I did, tamoxifen wouldn't work particularly well in me. Here's what's scary: genetic testing for the CYP2D6 gene is not routinely done before women are put on tamoxifen. So, there is a population of breast cancer patients who are currently on ineffective therapy...and don't know it. Hello?

Carrier Status: The panel includes testing for 37 carrier states -- conditions that can be carried silently in a family for generations, only to be discovered when two carriers have a child with the condition. I am a carrier for hemochromatosis, a liver storage disease.

Practical application: The only carrier state I ever worried about and got tested for when I was pregnant was thalassemia (Mediterranean anemia). But hemochromatosis? News to me! I am completely healthy since there is only one copy of the gene present. Since my reproductive life is over (hallelujah!), there is nothing more for me to do. However, each of our daughters has a 50% chance of having the trait and pre-natal testing for this condition will be critical.

Complex Health Conditions: The panel looks for SNPs, short genetic sequences, that are associated with risk for developing 24 different complex conditions. I have no increased genetic risk for any of them. Just for clarification, these results mean I have average risk, not zero risk.

Practical application: I clearly won the genetic gamble and got a healthy deck by my parents. (Thanks mom and dad!) I found myself making some subtle behavior changes: one less glass of wine, stocking my travel bag with calcium and vitamins so that I don't miss doses when I am traveling -- because I feel even more responsible to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

If, on the other hand, I was at increased risk for any of the conditions, this information would have helped me focus on the prevention, screening and lifestyle choices that mitigate that risk. Without this focus, being "healthy" means complying with a long list of sacrifices:

Eat healthy

Exercise daily

Wear sunscreen

Consume no more than 1-2 alcoholic drinks per day

Avoid red meat

Sleep 7-9 hours per night

Get 15 minutes of sunlight a day

Eat a low cholesterol diet

And on and on.....

Frankly, I can't live in a sterile, sinless bubble. You probably can't either. It's understandable that so many people hopelessly throw in the towel and do nothing. So, for me, the results offer some leeway in those areas where my body might be able to tolerate some extra indulgence.
Convinced?

For those of you who are still uneasy about learning something you don't want to know: Do you avoid having blood tests at your doctor's office because they might diagnose something you don't want to know? Of course not. Why is this different?

For those of you who are nervous about your personal genetic history being on the internet and having your privacy violated: Who really cares about your personal genetic history other than you, your family, and the people that love you? Strangers would much rather know about the details of your bank account.

For those of you who are nervous about your insurance or employer using the information against you: The Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act (GINA) was signed into law in 2008. It protects Americans against health insurance and employment discrimination based on their genetic information.

So, just do it!

Stop the Drama and Spit!

Create Health,
Archelle

~ Courtesy "Archelle on Health"

Note: The image in at the top of this blog was provided by Lynn Fellman who creates fine art that is inspired by the science and stories that are revealed by our DNA. More of Lynn's art can be viewed at http://www.fellmanstudio.com/.

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Health Information.

Reflections on R & R: Expectations and Reality

2010-04-15T07:56:00.001-05:00

A big thanks to Tim Blake, author of the blog "Army Dad: A blog about life from a stay at home dad and proud Army spouse" for this great post about deployment. Tim reflects on R & R ("Rest and Recuperation") leave .... from an Army husband's perspective. You don't want to miss this!

I can't remember many things in my life that I've anxiously waited for quite like I did for R&R. We began the countdown to my wife's return home way back in January. Each day that passed was another crossed off the calendar. As the days got closer, the waiting got harder. It's hard to imagine being more ready for anything like I was for her to come home.

And then, it finally happened. She came home. And what followed was probably two of the happiest weeks of our marriage. But they weren't without their own issues. You see, both of us had expectations for what life would be like, both of us had imagined what the reunion would be like. Like so many things in our lives, though, reality is usually a lot different from what our expectations are. And I'd like to talk about the contrast between the two.

When you are going through something like we are, a year apart from your spouse who is in a war, the only thing certain is that you will change as a person. There's no way to avoid it. Now, sometimes you change for the worse. Many of us who've lived in a military community for years know of those examples. Some marriages don't survive the year long deployment. Some people don't remain faithful to their spouse while they are apart. Other times, like in my case, you change for the better.

Whatever the case may be, change occurs. What that means is you aren't the same person that your spouse left. Sure, you talk on the phone often and ‘Skype’ and all those VTC things. But that's not the same as being there. I've learned to raise 4 children all alone this year. I've been through a lot and have grown a ton. All of that is related to the experiences I've had this year. And everything I've experienced, I’ve experienced alone.

What this all means is you and I, the spouse back home in this war, have to allow our Soldier the chance to get to know us again, to get used to the changes in us. Unfortunately, our expectations are that when our spouse gets off the plane they will know exactly who we are and where we are coming from. What's more, our spouses have been in a combat environment for so many months that they aren't the same person either. What you have, then, is two people who have changed over the course of the deployment and need to get reacquainted. Both of us probably thought we'd be seeing the same person we saw 7 months ago.

So you can see how the expectations of us picking right up where we left off were completely unrealistic. What I found to be the case was this: the first couple of days together are blissfully happy. They are filled with joy and peace as we finally got to see each other and hold each other again after so long apart. Since we spent the first two days without the kids, this was an even better reunion. It was like a honeymoon!
The next few days, however, were a little bit strained as she had to become acquainted with our routines and methods. When you are raising 4 kids on your own, you are bound to do things differently than you did as a couple. It's only natural. And that was our situation.

The next few days were really a readjustment period. And it was more on her part as she was forced to come to grips with our way of doing things. That said, she was prepared for it as I explained to her in the weeks leading up to R & R that she would need to adopt a ‘guest mentality’ when she arrived. Now, you might think that was mean or unreasonable, but in light of what I wrote above, you can see the logic. We have our way of doing things right now and that way is meant to get us through. I remember telling her that I'd be completely open to discussing changes in the way we do things when she came home for good later this year, but this was how things were going to be until then. To her credit (she's such a better person than I am!), she was completely on board with this.

After the readjustment period, things really smoothed out and we had a great time together as a family. Our R & R (I say ‘our’ because it was a break for both of us from this deployment) was exactly what we needed. Sure, it did take a couple of days for us to get reacquainted and get back into the "married" mentality. But the fact that we were able to is a testament to the strength of our marriage.

You see, I will go to the ends of the earth for my wife. My love for her means I'll make whatever adjustment I need to so that she can feel at home. No, it isn't always easy. But she's worth it. What's more, she feels the same way. I remember her telling me "I want to be a part of your routines, not interrupt them, or, more importantly, disrupt them." She understood how important our routines are to us as we carry on while she's gone.

Readjustment is easy when both of us realize that the other isn't quite the same person any more. One thing that never changes for us, though, is how much we love and support each other. And that's what helps get us through this deployment!

~ Courtesy "Army Dad: A blog about life from a stay at home dad and proud Army spouse"

For more information on the deployment cycle, visit Army Well-Being: Deployment Cycle Support.

Is Your Army Kid Depressed?

2010-04-12T09:11:00.000-05:00

Christina Piper is today's wonderful guest blogger; she writes for the blog, "Her War, Her Voice." In this post, Christina talks about an important topic: Depression and children, especially those in military Families.

In an article titled, "The Depressed Child," the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says that our kids can get depression and that stress and loss can increase the chances of having childhood depression. So what does this mean for our military kids? Our kids that are facing one or both of their parents leaving for a year or more at a time, and then that parent coming home for a short period and going again. Or even worse, never returning.

So when a friend called me and discussed that her wonderful six-year-old daughter has been diagnosed with clinical depression, I wondered, “How could she not?” This sweet little girl has had the love of her life ripped from her over and over again. Her dad has been away with three deployments and year long school totaling 80% of her life. Her mom fights depression herself and is trying to do her best to get them through another deployment.

This little girl kicks and screams and completely shuts down. She bottles up her emotions and refuses to cry. She wants to be strong and she doesn’t want to disappoint her family. She turns to repeating the same phrase over and over again to comfort herself or to hide. This loving little girl internalizes everything because she doesn’t have the ability to say what she needs. Her mom is fighting to relieve her stress and all the pressure placed on her little soul. All she wants is her dad and that is the one thing her mom cannot produce for her.

I listen to their frustration and I cry for them, but being so far away I don’t know what to do but listen. I hear my friend’s fear and I worry about her husband’s reaction and how this will eat at him. I allow them to let me have it to let loose all their worry, and I know that this is all I can do. I listen.

They are doing the right things and it is a fight. They have her in counseling and they are finding ways for her to have control of her situation. They are giving her a safe supportive place for her to feel whatever she is feeling. She is going to be OK but what about all the children that are not getting diagnosed?

Here are some signs to look for. If one or more of these signs of depression persist, parents should seek help:

• Frequent sadness, tearfulness, crying

• Decreased interest in activities; or inability to enjoy previously favorite activities

• Hopelessness

• Persistent boredom; low energy

• Social isolation, poor communication

• Low self esteem and guilt

• Extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure

• Increased irritability, anger, or hostility

• Difficulty with relationships

• Frequent complaints of physical illnesses such as headaches and stomachaches

• Frequent absences from school or poor performance in school

• Poor concentration

• A major change in eating and/or sleeping patterns

• Talk of or efforts to run away from home

• Thoughts or expressions of suicide or self destructive behavior

Source: "The Depressed Child," The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

Not all of our kids are going to have these issues, but we do need to be aware of the symptoms. There is nothing scarier then not being able to help our kids.

~ Courtesy "Her War, Her Voice" blog

For more information, see Army Well-Being: Behavioral Health.

Deployment and the Stages of Grief

2010-04-08T08:52:00.009-05:00

Our next fabulous guest blogger is Sara of the blog "Welcome to the Blog of an Army Wife." She describes her initial reaction to deployment when husband, Joe, first leaves.

I was talking to a (civilian) friend of mine earlier today and probably complaining a little too much. I've known this girl since I was 8; she's been my best friend for a long time. She even knows Joe. At one point she gives me a reality check and reminds me that Joe is just deployed, not dead.

But it got me thinking, a very dangerous thing for a wanna-be psychologist to do. In college, I read a book called "On Death and Dying." by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross. She outlines 5 stages of grief.

The stages Kubler-Ross identified are:

Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
Depression (I don't care anymore)
Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

I fully believe I am going through these stages. The day I left Joe at his company I came home and couldn't believe what I had done. I walked around the house repeating, "what have I done, what have I done? This cant be happening."

And then yesterday, I ventured outside of my apartment. Every time I saw a man in uniform I could feel myself getting angry. I even mentioned it on Twitter and some people agreed with my statement and even said the emotions were normal.

So today? I stared at my phone until noon. "I just need a phone call. I just need to hear his voice. I just need to know he's okay. Please call me." And at noon, I heard his voice. And my day got noticeably better. It dawned on me that I hadn't eaten since Thursday morning (I get what we have coined Depression Fasting, I actually forget to eat when I'm sad or upset. And when I am hungry, nothing sounds appetizing). I had even opened a box of girl scout cookies so I would eat something and they had been left on the kitchen counter.

So maybe depression is next? I'm not a depressed person, so this could get interesting.

Grief.

Wikipedia defines it as a response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something to which a bond was formed.

There is this huge void in my life right now. I knew I would be lonely. Anyone could predict there would be a little depression and a lot of sadness. But the stages of grief? I never saw this one coming.

~ Courtesy "Welcome to the Blog of an Army Wife"

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Deployment Cycle Support.

Army Kids are Heroes

2010-04-04T10:40:00.000-05:00

April is the Month of the Military Child. In honoring our Army kids, we want to share this blog post with you. It comes from an Army wife, writing about her recent reunion with her Soldier after a year-long deployment, and how her kids have shown her true perserverance through it all.

I have been thinking lately about Army kids and how they seem to have their very own brand of independence and confidence, honed by years of moving to new places, meeting new people, and saying farewell to good friends whose Soldier had been reassigned to a new location. When my kids talk about taking a family trip, they don't stop at the local Six Flags or Water Park. They suggest places like Washington, DC, London, England, and Vicenza, Italy ... all places where friends have moved in the past year.

In my reminiscing of Army kids, I was reminded of an Army child I met years ago, before we had kids of our own. My husband and I had just moved into temporary quarters at Fort Stewart, Georgia, when we heard a knock at our door. We had just arrived and no one yet knew how to reach us, so we were surprised to have a visitor. When I opened the door, a little girl about nine years old was standing there. "Welcome!" she said, "I am new here, too. Do you have any kids I could play with?" I loved that she was making the most of her situation (with her parents close by), and "growing where she was planted." It makes me wonder what personality traits she will take with her into her adult life that are enhanced by living the Army life during her childhood.

I have been keeping a close eye on my own children as well, evaluating their reactions to the separation from their father along with seeing more close friends pack up to leave this summer. Last week, we were able to welcome our Soldier home from a year-long deployment. As we went through the various stages that were a part of this event, I kept an especially close eye on both of my children, ages nine and six. They have endured a long year of separation from their all-time hero and father and were beyond excited to welcome him home.

I enjoyed observing them making "Welcome Home" banners (favorite quote? "Mommy, how do you spell 'welcome-home-daddy-you-are-my-hero-and-I-have-missed-you-so-much-and-let's-play-our-favorite-game-when-we-get-home!'"), cleaning their rooms, baking welcome-home cookies, and hanging welcome home signs all over our house. They both made comments that the last few days before 'welcome home' were just too long. One said it's harder than waiting for Santa Claus; the other simply stated, "We've waited for this day for a long time."

Numerous times, I found myself filled with a strange mix of emotions -- pride, joy, sadness, anxiety -- as I worked with them to get ready for Daddy to come home. I loved how excited they were and was so proud of how well they have handled all that they had been handed during this time apart. I was thrilled that we would be a complete family unit again and that my youngest would have a parent available who could actually help him with his baseball stance (and not just say things like, "Mmm, I don't think that looks quite right, honey. Try lifting your elbows a bit ..."). I was also a bit anxious about what their reaction would be to seeing their Daddy again. I knew they would be happy, but it must be every Army spouse's nightmare that their children might not recognize their Soldier-parent upon return.

As it turned out, our welcome home ceremony was scheduled for midnight. The boys were crushed that they had to go to bed ONE MORE TIME before Daddy would be there, but were able to fall asleep fairly quickly. When I woke them up, the oldest bolted out of bed, slid into his shoes (they both went to bed in the shorts/shirt they would wear to greet Daddy), and raced to the front door. The youngest was exhausted and fought all the way to the car ("Why are you waking me UP?!?!?"), but woke up on the ride to post, thrilled to be on his way to getting his Dad.

When we arrived at the parade field, I was again amazed at the flexibility and independence of Army kids. My sons immediately approached a group of kids gathered on the field and, within minutes, were playing like old friends. As "arrival time" grew nearer, I watched the growing group of kids on the field. A dee-jay was playing fun songs and they ran and danced and played like they had all been best friends for life. It occurred to me that having a deployed parent in common might just be as strong a bond as knowing each other since birth.

Eventually, the deejay announced that the buses were just moments away. We watched as the military police car, with sirens blaring and lights flashing, escorted our Soldiers to the field. The Soldiers then exited the bus, moved into a formation, and began marching across the field. As they got close, the deejay announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen! America's Heroes are HOME!!" The cheers were deafening and the front row of kids looking for their parent again caught my attention. The looks of pure joy and excitement on these little faces were a wonder to see.

As the 2-minute ceremony ended, the announcer said, "In the fine tradition of the Cavalry, it is time to find your Soldier ... CHARGE!" If you've ever seen an elementary school field day race, you'll have some idea of how fast these kids reached their Soldiers. I think my oldest might have broken some sort of land-speed record as he sprinted to tackle his dad. As caught up as I was in greeting my husband, my hero, and the love of my life ... I still was astounded at the Army kids around me, all welcoming their hero home, and all ready for whatever might come next.

For these and a hundred other reasons, Army kids are heroes!

~ Courtesy This Fabulous Army Life

For more news and resources just for Army kids, please visit Army Well-Being: Army Kids.

Today is Medal of Honor Day

2010-03-25T15:58:00.001-05:00

March 25 is Medal of Honor Day. Here are some resources to tell you more about this important event:

The Medal of Honor is the nation’s highest medal for valor in combat that can be awarded to members of the armed forces. It sometimes is referred to as the “Congressional Medal of Honor” because the President awards it on behalf of the Congress.

History of the Medal of Honor

Tax Season is Upon Us!

2010-03-04T12:32:00.018-06:00

It's tax season! As you are gathering forms, digging out receipts, and dusting off calculators, let Army Well-Being help out. We have a collection of articles, tips, and resources to make tax season a breeze for you.

Visit Army Well-Being: Tax Information to get started!

Some highlights include:

Unsolicited Emails From the IRS? Sounds Phishy

Now that tax season is underway, many Americans are combing their financial files and other personal information to prepare their tax returns. Identity thieves also are busy, trying to "phish" for your personal information.

What to Do if You are Missing Your W-2 Form

It’s tax season once again, and time to gather all the forms and tax records you’ll need to file your tax return. One of the most important documents you’ll need is your W-2 form. We always hear from a lot of people who didn’t get their W-2’s and don’t know what to do. So if you haven’t received your W-2 yet, read on.

Couples Can File Joint Tax Return Despite Non-Resident Status

This year, filing a joint tax return allows the Servicemember and spouse $3650 per person. That's $7300 in personal exemptions, before calculating other exemptions and tax credits. The amount of exemption went up $50 from last year, but if the Servicemember is married to a non-U.S. resident, the couple does not get to take advantage of the more favorable tax treatment, unless the non-resident alien spouse applies for an Individual Taxpayer Identification Number (ITIN) from the U.S. Internal Revenue Service (IRS).

First-time Homebuyer Tax Credit for Military Members

The Worker, Homeownership and Business Assistance Act of 2009 extends and expands the first-time homebuyer credit allowed by previous Acts.

Learn About the New Tax Law HEART Act

The HEART Act - the Heroes Earnings Assistance and Relief Tax Act of 2008 - helps reduce the financial burden on military Families in several ways. Read the entire article to find out how.

Be sure to see The Pentagon Channel for lots of great videos regarding tax season, including this one:

Happy Tax Season to you and best wishes for a healthy return!

In a Money Bind? Consider Army Emergency Relief

2010-02-28T17:15:00.007-06:00

I love to read about programs the directly impact Soldiers and their Families in a positive way. It's often too easy to see only the struggles that come along with being an Army Family, so encountering programs that make life easier is always welcomed.

One such program is the Army Emergency Relief fund. Wow; what a great idea! This program uses it's funds to help Soldiers in need. Simple concept, but a true lifesaver for anyone who finds themselves in need.

In a recent Army News Service article, the program announced that it's 2010 campaign begins this week.

From the AER Website:

AER is a private nonprofit organization incorporated in 1942 by the Secretary of War and the Army Chief of Staff. AER's sole mission is to help soldiers and their dependents.

AER is the Army's own emergency financial assistance organization and is dedicated to "Helping the Army Take Care of Its Own". AER provides commanders a valuable asset in accomplishing their basic command responsibility for the morale and welfare of soldiers.

AER funds are made available to commanders having AER Sections to provide emergency financial assistance to soldiers - active & retired - and their dependents when there is a valid need.

AER funds made available to commanders are not limited and are constrained only by the requirement of valid need.

For these reasons, the AER assistance program is conducted within the Army structure by major commanders and their installation/organization commanders through AER sections and other related organizations.

Typically, it seems that AER loans (which are always interest free!) have been under $1,000 and granted for terms between 12 and 24 months.

Some information from Andrew H. Cohen, AER deputy director for finance, found in the online article:

"Not only are extensions possible, but if repaying a loan creates an undue hardship, a Soldier can convert the loan to a grant," Cohen said. "There's no boiler plate solution to take care of a Soldier and his Family."

Cohen said the loan process has become easier for requests under $1,000 due to the command referral program whereby company commanders and first sergeants have the authority to approve a loan. Local installation AER sections can approve cases up to $3,500. For more than $3,500 in emergency funds, the local AER will forward the case to AER headquarters in Alexandria, Va.

It's not uncommon for an emergency fund request to be dropped off at the local base AER office in the morning, then return at lunch to pick up their assistance checks. Cohen said it's much quicker and easier than going outside the gate and having to pay a huge interest rate.

Read the full article and get the details here:

Army Emergency Relief Campaign Begins March 1

During the Army Emergency Relief campaign this year, AER officials want to promote awareness to Soldiers and their Families that donations generate interest-free loans to fellow Soldiers and Families in times of need.

Founded in 1942, the AER has provided more than $1.2 billion in assistance, and in the last five years alone has distributed nearly $300 million to more than 280,000 Soldiers and Families for unforeseen cash flow problems.

For more information, visit Army Well-Being: Your Financial Life

Also, participate in our Quick Poll: Where is your family financially?

Need to Feel that Rush? Check out Warrior Adventure Quest!

2010-02-17T13:04:00.004-06:00

Every now and then I run across something that just makes me proud (all over again!) to be an Army wife. I just posted the article "Warrior Adventure Quest Helps Soldiers" on the Army Well-Being homepage and am so impressed with this program.

If your Soldier has deployed to combat, you have likely seen a slightly different person return from war than the one who left. This may or may not be drastic, and may or may not be negative. It would be very difficult to live 12+ months away from home, experiencing high-stress, life-or-death situations regularly, and not be affected by it at all.

Sometimes this can manifest itself in a good way. My husband and I have talked about the fact that it seems easier for us to keep the "small things" small after 24 months of deployment during the past four years. Who really cares if the socks make it into the laundry hamper or if the dishes are left overnight? His socks are HERE, not in Iraq, and the dishes just means we enjoyed a meal ... together!

It's not always that simple, of course, but deployment can have a way of bringing things into perspective for you. Another possible effect of combat deployments is the Soldiers' need to "feel that rush." True, IED explosions and small arms fire are likely not anybody's idea of a good time, but they do produce an adrenaline rush that is difficult to replicate. Enough high-stress events like these, and a Soldier could begin to feel a 'need' for the same reaction he/she gets in combat situations. Sometimes, this can play out in other high-risk behaviors, like driving too fast, unsafe motorcycle drives, or physcial aggression.

Enter: Warrior Adventure Quest (WAQ). This program is designed to assist Soldiers in dealing with just this issue. A quote from the article says:

Through WAQ, Soldiers are exposed to healthy alternative high-adrenaline activities in a safe, controlled environment. These types of activities have proven to mitigate boredom and high-risk behavior.

It is such an impressive program to me because it is so real. It directly addresses a real need of our Soldiers today. Take a moment to read the entire article and see this video from the Fort Benning MWR for more information on the program.

We welcome your comments!

How 'Social' Are You?

2010-02-14T22:12:00.006-06:00

Social media is all the rage these days and new options seem to pop up overnight. With so many choices, how do you decide what to use? Why jump on the bandwagon at all? Or, if you've decided to join the social networking ranks, where should you begin?

Well, we're not sure we have all of the answers for you -- sorry! -- but here are some things to consider ...

What do you want to accomplish through social networking? Are you looking to connect with old friends or new colleagues? Will you try to promote your site, business, or favorite charity? Knowing what goals you seek to achieve will help you determine what networking sites will be best for you.
How much time will you have to commit to social networking? The social media world can be somewhat demanding. With instant access to so many different people, waiting days for a response from you can make your followers or friends a little impatient. You'll want to be able to spend a reasonable amount of time each week on updating your networks.
What is your plan for connecting with people? Like most things, social networking sites have become victim to scammers, spammers, and more. Knowing ahead of time who you'll follow/friend/connect with may save you some time and trouble in the long run.

There is some great information out there on social networking and on each individual forum. One of our favorites is Mashable ... found at http://mashable.com/ ... it's labeled the "Social Media Guide" and is full of tips, tricks, and information for you.

A few of our favorite social media sites (and our links so you can visit and check them out for yourself) are:

Facebook (see our favorite pages for some great military pages to visit)
Twitter (see our Twitter lists ... we've collected the best Twitter accounts there!)
Delicious (we're bookmarking great military and informational sites)
Digg (always looking for new articles and news for Soldiers and Families)
StumbleUpon (great websites, videos, photos, blogs and more — all tailored to your personal interests

Plus ... here are some recent articles about social networking we wanted to share with you, too.

Think ‘Social’ When Using Social Media

As social media has become more prevalent, it seems to have become more confounding. More people means more potential advances in technology, but also means more questions about how to best use social tools in personal and professional business.

What Would You Tell a General Officer About Social Media?

Teaching our leadership about the ins and outs of Facebook, Twitter and Flickr is pretty common place in the Army. Education is at the core of our social media strategy ... But, what do you think? If it were your job to educate military leadership on social media, what would you be telling them?

Please let us know YOUR favorites ... and share any tips you have discovered, too!

For the Love of Army Kids

2010-02-08T10:07:00.004-06:00

As Valentine's Day draws near, parents will be searching for just the right goody for their little sweethearts. Chocolates, stuffed bears, and frilly heart-shaped cards will be greeted with big smiles on the 14th of February.

At Army Well-Being, we're continuously looking for the best news, tips, resources, and ideas to serve our Soldiers and their Families. Because we know just how precious your little 'valentines' are to you, here are some of the latest and greatest posts especially for our Army parents.

Please comment to add your own ideas; we'd love to hear from you!

Military Families Get Free Access to Caregiver Network

Did you know? Military Families now have free access to an online network of quality caregivers who can assist with everything from babysitting to dog walking! Sittercity is the nation’s largest online source for local babysitters, nannies, elder care providers, dog walkers, housekeepers, and tutors, and contains more than a million caregiver profiles. The Sittercity Corporate Program, funded by the Defense Department, offers military Families — including active duty, Guard, and Reserve — with a paid membership to the site.

Protect the Ones You Love: Prevent Road Traffic Injuries

The CDC gives us a startling statistic: Every hour, 150 children between ages 0 and 19 are treated in emergency departments for injuries sustained in motor vehicle crashes. More children ages 5 to 19 die from crash-related injuries than from any other type of injury. Read more on how parents can ensure the safety of their children on the road.

Patriotic, Active Kids Suffer Less Deployment Stress

Adolescents who believe that America supports the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and that Soldiers are making a difference in the world are less likely to suffer from anxiety and stress when their parent deploys. The research -- conducted by Army War College researcher Leonard Wong -- revealed that strong Army Families and increased activity by children also reduced the level of stress.

10 Ways to Stay Connected to Your Kids During Deployment

Most of us don't want to think about deployment and time away from the Family, especially at Valentine's. But, deployment can be tough on important relationships if you aren't prepared. Read these 10 great tips that can help you and your Family to make it through deployment.

Soldiers and Super Bowl Sunday

2010-02-05T16:56:00.004-06:00

Soon it will be Super Bowl Sunday! We've been collecting some fun information for you about this near-holiday in the United States. We hope you're planning a fun time with friends to watch the big game.

First, and most importantly, who will you be rooting for on Sunday? Take our quick poll and let us know where your loyalties lie:

It's Super Bowl week! Who are you rooting for?

Next on the list? Get your snack on! Enjoy these tips and recipes from your DeCA Dietitian:

Cheer Your Team to Victory with Great Super Bowl Snacks

According to food industry surveys, along with chips and dips, one of the most popular foods for a Super Bowl party is pizza. Yes, you can always order in, but it will cost you. So, check out the easy pizza recipes featured this week from your DeCA Dietitian – you might decide to make it at home so you can “have it your way” and save lots of dough at the same time.

We're glad to know that many of our deployed troops will get to watch, too!

Troops Overseas to Get Live Super Bowl Feed

When millions of Americans gather around their TV sets this weekend for Super Bowl XLIV, they’ll have lots of company from U.S. forces around the world and at sea, thanks to the American Forces Radio and Television Service. AFRTS has been delivering the game live for the past 43 years.

The full game, including the pre-game show, will be beamed by satellite to American Forces Network viewers and American Forces Radio listeners in 175 countries and aboard Navy ships at sea!

Another great story about how the NFL and the US Army are working together to raise awareness about PTSD, depression, and TBI:

US Army and the NFL: A Winning Team

When thinking about comparisons, it is rare one would think to compare the National Football League to the U.S. Army. One provides entertainment on Sundays, Mondays (and a few Thursdays) while one provides national security and protection seven days a week.

Nevertheless, there is one issue they have in common that affects both in very serious way-tramatic brain injuries. And although the injuries occur in extremely different situations, they are equally serious and important. This is why the NFL is teaming up with the U.S. Army to raise awareness about post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and brain injuries in servicemembers.

There are some great video clips of NLF heroes on DoDvClips showing their appreciation to our troops! Over and over, you'll hear "You are the true heroes" from these players to our troops. Good stuff here:

NFL Shout-Out Videos on DoDvClips!

Other than one slightly misguided NFL player who said "Go Navy, Beat Army" (we're sure that's not really what he meant), this is a great video with the two Super Bowl competitors giving thanks to our troops. Enjoy!

Free Tutoring for Army Families

2010-01-27T18:11:00.007-06:00

Have you tried this? Army Families Have Access to Free, Online Tutoring!

We posted a news article on www.armywellbeing.org about free, live, online tutoring available to all military Families. This service has been available for Army Families for about a year, but I had yet to try it. With a 1st and a 4th grader at home, I decided today was the day to check it out.

First, I have to say, it was the easiest registration of any website I've encountered. Simply enter your "Army Affiliation," your email and gender, and click "Register!" I instantly received a confirmation email with my login code and ta-da! I was in.

One thing I really liked about the site is that you can browse the different lessons to see what is available. I was worried I'd be automatically connected with a live person asking me questions I wasn't ready to answer ... like "Why exactly are you here?" or "What specific topics would your students like to study?" But, no. I was free to browse and the directions on how to contact a live tutor were clear and easy-to-follow.

There are many different subjects, shown in this clip art from www.tutor.com. Another cool feature is that there are sections for "Student Center," "College Center," and "Career Center." So it's not just for kids!

I took a minute to browse around the "Career Center" and was happy with the sections there, too: Career Help (including a resume review, help with job searches, and interview prep), GED Prep, Citizenship, Back to School, and "Proof Point" where you can get any document reviewed by a live English tutor.

Finally, I was amazed to see that they are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week! For those of us who sometimes put kids to bed before working on our own career goals, that was a very pleasant surprise.

So ... I plan to bring my own two children back to the website to go through some of the resource library lessons for practice. Math is our nemisis and I think this will be a huge help. Try it out for yourself ... and let us know what you think!

For more information on this fabulous resource, visit Army Well-Being: Online Tutoring.

How will you respond to the needs in Haiti?

2010-01-25T16:35:00.001-06:00

Quick post to ask ... How have you responded to the needs of those devastated by the earthquake in Haiti? We're hearing so many stories of those who have donated and supported in many different ways. Share here ... please feel free to leave a comment or answer our poll online:

How will you respond to the needs in Haiti?

Mission Haiti: Soldiers Lead US Relief

2010-01-25T12:50:00.002-06:00

U.S. Southern Command is leading the relief effort in Haiti. The Army is working to help alleviate the suffering of survivors and support humanitarian relief efforts. Find out what the Army is doing, and how you might be able to help too.

Get Information on Your Loved Ones

For information on missing U.S. citizen family members, call this toll-free number administered by the U.S. Department of State: 1-888-407-4747.

How You Can Help

Donate via Cell Phone

To send immediate relief, text "HAITI" to "90999" and a donation of $10 will be given directly to the Red Cross relief efforts. The amount will be charged to your cell phone bill.

For other options, visit:

Red Cross
Mercy Corps
Other relief support organizations

For more information, please visit the Army Well-Being's page on Haiti Relief.

Leadership in an FRG

2010-01-25T10:14:00.001-06:00

PHOTO: Screen shot of the FRG Leader Community at http://frgleader.army.mil/.

I very clearly remember my first FRG meeting (actually, it was an FSG meeting … back when the title was still “Family Support Group”). I had been married to my fabulous Soldier for several weeks and wanted to see what this Army thing was all about. To start the meeting, the nice lady at the head of the table (whom I later learned was the battalion commander’s wife and the leader of the battalion’s FSG), asked us to introduce ourselves and tell what unit our spouse was in. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, at this point in our Army lives, I had not yet learned … well, … really anything. When my turn came, I remember stammering my husband’s name and proudly informing the group that he was in the Army AND in the Field Artillery! (For those of you not familiar with the Army, ALL of the Soldiers were in the Army AND in the Field Artillery; it was a Field Artillery battalion. My answer just made clear to all that I had no idea about how the Army was organized.)

My husband gave me a quick tutorial that night and I learned that a Field Artillery battalion was comprised of four batteries and was a part of the division’s Artillery, called DIVARTY. I learned our battery name, our battalion name, and even found out the name of the division we were in. Who knew? Years later, when my husband became the commander of a battery, I knew that I wanted to help every single spouse feel comfortable, invited, and informed. I had learned a lot from that first battalion FSG Leader; she was a wonderfully compassionate, down-to-earth leader who genuinely cared about the Soldiers and Families in the battalion. I knew that was the kind of leader I wanted to be.

If you are in a leadership position for an Army Family Readiness Group, you likely have the same kind of goals that I did – keep Families informed, support unit readiness, and maintain a flow of communication with your unit members. There are many ways to work toward these goals … taking your local installation FRG Leader training, completing the online FRG Leader Training at Army OneSource, and working with fellow FRG Leaders to plan events and activities.

One of my greatest lessons learned as an FRG Leader was to share ideas with others. Sharing your lessons learned and taking lessons from others is one sure way to get the most of your planning. The best place that I’ve found to start sharing ideas is on a website created specifically for Army FRG Leaders: The FRG Leader Forum at http://frgleader.army.mil/.

The FRG Leader Forum is an online community of leaders. As the website states …

“The FRG Leader forum is BY and FOR those serving in a FRG Leader role. This forum provides like-minded individuals the opportunity to share new ideas and lessons learned improving leadership skills and family readiness programs. FRG Leader is more than just a resource for FRG Leaders; its value comes from Leaders connecting with each other and sharing their experiences and hard-earned knowledge. We invite you to participate and join the conversation!”

If you don’t have an account on the FRG Leader forum yet, stop now; open a new tab on your Internet browser, and type in http://FRGLeader.army.mil. Create your account now! You’ll be so glad once you see all of the amazing resources there.

The FRG Leader forum is made up of FRG Leaders from across the globe, sharing their successes as well as their lessons learned. You will find tons of great discussions and enjoy an atmosphere of support and encouragement. One of the best features is that everything posted on the site is yours to use! FRG Meeting agendas, newsletter examples, checklists, articles, certificates … all are yours to download, put your own unit crest on it and it’s yours! Not only is there no copyright on any original work, the authors (FRG Leaders who created these items for their own FRGs) want you to use what they’ve labored over.

The FRG Leader forum has recently branched out and created shared spaces for Senior FRG Advisors (at the battalion level or higher) and Family Readiness Support Assistants (FRSAs) as well, so please share these with your unit.

Finally, I wish you the best of luck as you take on the challenging yet rewarding task of leading an FRG. Thank you for your service to our Soldiers and Families!

Some Website Links for You:

Hello, Blogosphere!

2010-01-21T23:59:00.005-06:00

Greetings, fellow bloggers! We're excited to enter the blogosphere with good news for our US Army Soldiers and their Families. In this blog, we'll share some highlights from the Army Well-Being website, post updates on the latest Army news, provide tips and resources, and discuss all the latest hot topics in the Army.

We're having a great time with social media and have been exploring lots of different options to best reach our Soldiers, Veterans, Families, and troop supporters. Here are a few we want to share with you first!

Facebook

Twitter

Delicious

Digg

Yahoo!
StumbleUpon

We're also working on an account with NowPublic, a public news sharing site. It's a fun website and we'll be adding our account to that site soon.

What are your favorite social media sites? Is there someplace we're missing? Want to ask us why we chose the sites we listed? We look forward to hearing from you!

Connecting with Soldiers and Families

2010-01-21T14:14:00.005-06:00

Army Well-Being works diligently to get the best, most relevant information for Soldiers and Families, then collect it in one, easy-to-access location. Our homepage is located at www.armywellbeing.org and highlights news, resources, and information in many areas ... among these are:

Standard of Living
Career
Health
Community
Personal Life

We love to hear from you! Use our Polls and Forums to tell us exactly how you feel! We discuss all the hot topics in the Army today ... and encourage your active participation.

Enjoy your visit to Army Well-Being. We look forward to seeing you online!